Tomorrow I begin

Tomorrow is May 1st. That is the day I set for myself to get started on my goals during Aaron's deployment. For the month of May I will be drinking 4 water bottles a day, and 100 sit ups daily. Not all at once! I am way too out of shape for that. But 100 sit ups through the course of the day. Those are my only goals toward weight loss and getting healthy and in shape. My whole plan is about baby steps. I want to make these a habit before I add more challenges. I am looking forward to getting started.

As for today, it was another crazy day of therapy for Bethany, and what feels like non stop diaper changes, sweeping and mopping the floor, and bathing the kids. There is an endless amount of dirt around here. With all of the rain we have been tracking mud in the house and the kids can't make it to or from the car without getting dirty. Bethany's latest thing is playing hopscotch, and every time we go outside she wants me to draw hopscotch squares with chalk. It keeps her busy, so I am happy with that.

Another day

Today was an extremely busy day. We were on the go all day. I dropped the kids off at school, then I went to Tricare to have my PCM (doctor) changed because I can't stand my current assigned doctor and I don't feel comfortable going to him for health care. Then I went to the commissary and spent the last 20 bucks in our account on a few groceries that couldn't wait. Thank goodness tomorrow is payday!

Then I picked up Bethany and took her to Occupational Therapy. The therapist was working with her on her eating and it was really hard because she was screaming and crying because the therapist was insisting she use her utensils and have to try other foods besides the regular stuff she is willing to eat. The child can't continue to only eat rice, spaghetti with butter, and macaroni and cheese. So it is important to try and change her diet habits. But I had a hard time with it. I knew she was hungry and wanted to just let her eat, but I managed to keep back and let the therapist do her thing. Then we came home for a short bit, and I did some laundry. Then we got Shea from school, and came home, and made cookies because Bethany was really wanting to make cookies together. She dumped the whole bottle of vanilla in the bowl while my back was turned but the cookies came out fine despite it.

After that we went across the street to my neighbors house. They have 2 kids that Bethany likes to play with. While there, my neighbors started having an argument, but the kids were playing and I didn't want to make the kids stop playing, so I just watched the kids who were in the front yard. Then the husband got on his cell phone and was talking and wandered to the side of the house. The kids all followed so I picked up Shea and went over to tell Bethany to come back to the front yard where I can see her. But she was already around the corner to the back of the house, so I went to the back just in time to see the husband turning the corner onto another block deep into his conversation, and no kids around. I circled back to the front of the house but Bethany was not there, so I start to panic and go looking all over the neighborhood for her, and find the husband on the phone and the 2 9 year olds and the 5 year old telling Bethany they don't want her around and to go run to the freeway. The freeway runs right behind our housing and only has a chain link fence to separate. I was super upset because Bethany did not comprehend that they were being mean to her, and she takes everything literally. Despite my efforts and those of the school, she still does not comprehend dangerous situations, and she would go and run on the freeway thinking that they were playing a game. She knows how to climb the chain link fence too. So I was very upset. I later talked to their parents and they were mortified too and assured me they will talk to them about it and make sure they understand that they cannot say things like that because Bethany doesn't understand things the same way they do and she could have done what they said. I am always watching my kids, but today really showed me how fast things can get out of hand. It is so upsetting to me to feel like I can't protect her even by making her understand danger. She knows she is not to go in the street alone, but doesn't understand why not. And like many young kids I usually have to remind her repeatedly and get onto her when she does run to the road or start to cross without me. But I spoke to her at bedtime about remembering not to wander where I can't see her and to never go in the road. Hopefully it will stick if I keep reiterating it.

This evening I did manage to get some housework done. There is so much! I always thought I appreciated my husband, and I have done it alone before when he was deployed int he past, but not having his help shows me just how much he really does around here when home. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful husband who is a team with me, and does so much at home. Even in the 2000's there are still a lot of husbands who don't do anything to help at home. So if you are reading this Aaron, I love you very much and I truly appreciate what a wonderful husband you are.

Countdown clock

I uploaded my countdown clock today. It sits on the top left corner of my computer screen at all times counting down the months, days, hours, minutes and seconds until Aarons estimated return. Sure it seems a little extreme, and no I am not falling apart over this deployment. This is our third Iraq deployment plus a Korea tour in between this and th last one. I got it. I love and miss him, but I can handle it. So I haven't cracked up. I just really like countdowns. I use this countdown for other things besides the deployment too. I just like seeing the time go down on a continual basis because I can see that time is not standing still and we are getting closer every second. I like to see a lower amount everytime I log in to my computer.

In other news, Bethany and Shea are doing a little better. Bethany still keeps asking where Daddy is, but I think I found a way to make sense of it for her. She has also taken over Aaron's side of the bed. I have woken up the past two mornings to find her laying in bed with the remote control in hand watching tv, lol. Yesterday we spent the afternoon at a friend's house and the girls had so much fun playing and having their nails and toenails painted, and making finger paint pictures to send Aaron once we get his address. Then last night my friend popped over to play phase 10 with me and hang out a bit. That was a lot of fun!

Today is a Waco day. I can't tell you how much I look forward to the day we get the call that they have an opening for her speech and pt here in Killeen. We will save so much time and gas. I really dislike driving to Waco so often.

Off to a shaky start

I told myself that once Aaron deployed I would be diligent about my blog. I will just blog about everything. I am not really feeling it today, but decided to just do it. I am not really feeling like doing much of anything today. It is rainy and dark and gloomy outside. The kids are both at school, and the house feels emptier than usual even though Aaron would have been at work anyway if he was not overseas. Bethany is testing me hard. She has been defiant and sassy, and I realize that I need to get her back in check now and not let this continue. There is a fine line between giving her extra attention because she is dealing with the fact that her Daddy just deployed, and letting her get away with behaving badly. I think I am doing all right. Yesterday Bethany had me cracking up. She was helping me in the kitchen, standing on her stool in only her underpants. For some reason she can't keep clothes on. I do dress the child everyday. Anyway, Shea kept trying to get up on the stool too, and she was grabbing onto Bethany's underpants to pull herself up. Bethany got mad and told Shea, "Sheaaaa! These are MY big girl underpants! I am doing my job helping mommy. You need to get out of the kitchen!" Poor Shea. But it was so hard not to laugh. I think we may need to get another stool. Speaking of big girl underpants, Bethany went potty everytime again yesterday! I was so pleased. I hope we can keep this going. She is getting closer and closer. My hope is that she will be at least fully day trained by this summer, and I can start potty training Shea in the fall. I have not started what I have named "The Deployment diet"yet. I am giving myself until May first to get started. And it is not like it is a big diet really. Baby steps. It is all about not beating myself up over things, and just taking it very slowly and making lasting changes. My goal for May is to start drinking 4 water bottles per day at least and no more soda. That's it. Hopefully by June I will have made it a habit, and I will pick another goal to make a habit. Each month a new baby step. Adding in more exercise, and diet changes, etc. If it takes me all year to lose my weight, so be it. I want the changes to be lasting. and I have already learned that I have too much trouble sticking to drastic diet and exercise changes. As for Aaron, I have not heard from him yet, but I think he probably got to Kuwait yesterday. From what I understand the lines for internet are probably pretty long because everyone wants to get in touch with their loved ones. So I am not sweating it. Aaron will call or e mail when he can.

All worth it

This is one of my latest favorite pictures of Bethany and Shea

There are so many moments as a mom that are crazy, chaotic, and messy, and tiring, but every once in a while you get a moment that reassures you that you are right where you are supposed to be in your life. Last night I had one of those moments. I had to write it in my journal too because it is right up there with some of the most precious memories I want to remember. I was putting the girls to bed last night, and after storytime on the couch, we all went off to Bethany's room to tuck her in then onto Shea's room to tuck her in too. While I was tucking Bethany in, Shea was hanging out waiting. After I said goodnight to Bethany, I told Shea "Come on! Time for you to go to bed." She got up and went over to Bethany's bedside and said, "Night night Betty. I lub you!" Then gave her a kiss with the "mwah" sound and all, lol. Bethany kissed her back and said she loves her too. So aside from being so sweet, Bethany got to be the first person Shea said, "I love you" to. I hope they will always be close and love each other like they do now.

Breaking the rules

I really enjoyed our day today. Both kids were in school all morning, so Aaron and I got to enjoy some time alone. We ate a leisurely breakfast and had conversation. It was very relaxing. At 11 a.m. we went to pick up Bethany from school, and were met by a very sour faced 4 year old. Her teacher told us that she had not been bad at all, but had a very difficult morning. She was upset because another kid messed up what she was working on, and then she lost a piece of one of the toys and was bent on finding it. But she did not find the part before it was time to go home. So Aaron and I decided to break the rules and take her out for ice cream for lunch. When she realized we were pulling up to Dairy Queen instead of our house, she got so excited. She went up to the counter and told the boy at the register that she wanted chocolate! Then we spent a nice long time sitting in a booth while she ate her chocolate sundae. We talked about insects, and her excitement to meet her teacher's new guinea pig tomorrow at school, and her upcoming field trip to a ranch. It was a lot of fun for me too to get to spoil her a little and have some special time with her and Aaron.

Random quote of the day: "Mommy, what letter does Q start with?"

Can't concentrate!

Just in case anyone was wondering, the average time it takes me to write on of my blog post's tends to be about 6 hours. Not because I research what to say, and make cute backrounds, and edit it to perfection. The reason it takes so long is because typically I will start with the title. Then I write half of a sentence. This is about the time my 4 year old tells me she is hungry. This is the same child who ate lunch, and seconds and some of her sister's food and the easter candy she swiped while nobody was looking, all less than an hour prior. So I tell her that there will be a snack time at 3 p.m. I then write 2 more words of that first sentence. But have to stop again because my daughter is writhing on the floor, wasting away from starvation. About this time I hear a crash from a bedroom and Shea starts screaming, so I go to check on her. I come back out and all seems well, so I sit down and write 2 sentences. Then noticing how quiet and calm things are, I get up to investigate. I find my 4 year old in front of the open fridge taking one bite out of each apple. So I get her away from the fridge and get her distracted with some finger painting. Then I decide to cut the bitten apples into slices and put them in baggies. I come back into the living room and find my daughter finger painting her younger sister instead of the paper. Thank goodness for washable paints! I figure she is already messy, so may as well let her paint too. So I get her set up at the table to paint too. I sit down and try to remember what I wanted to write. I type almost a whole sentence and my husband comes in and sits down and decides to tell me every detail of the book he just finished reading. I sit and try to look interested. I really try. I go back to typing and this time get a few sentences out when my husband asks why I look so serious. I tell him I am typing. He asks if something is wrong because I look mad. I tell him, "no, I am just trying to concentrate." I ask him to give the kids a snack. I know I should just do it myself. He is not an idiot, but he does feel the need to ask me several questions about the process. So once the kids have snacks and hubby goes to do something, I start to wrap up the ending of my blog post. My daughter comes over and starts hanging from my chair and climbing on me wanting to know what I am doing. I tell her I am writing. She tells me she needs to go potty, so I tell her to go ahead. Then she tells me she already went in her pants. So I change her and clean her up. I then seem that my younger daughter is covered in paint, so I decide to just put them in the bathtub. Once they are bathed and dressed, I come back and try to finish that last sentence. My husband pokes his head in the door and asks, "You gonna start dinner?"

Exzema, Autism, and Dairy

Well it seems that Shea has eczema. According tot he doctor anyway. She has been getting a dry red rash on her cheeks, lower back and thighs since we moved to TX about 9 months ago. We have tried so many different ointments and creams and lotion, and none work. Today the doctor sent us home with desonide cream and cetaphil moisturizer. We shall see how those work. I don't think her eczema is too awful. I have definitely seen worse cases. But I still feel bad for her because she itches her back constantly. Plus the rashes just look so dry and uncomfortable. Someone told me they cut out dairy and it helped. I find that interesting because I know a lot of parents of children with autism say that cutting out dairy helped their children a lot. My older daughter is on the autism spectrum. I have had some minor health problems lately and it was suggested that I cut out dairy. I am starting to think I should try to cut off the dairy in our house! I will have to learn a little more about how we can make up for the calcium, but I think I may give it a shot. I will be waiting until after Aaron deploys though because he doesn't do well with dietary changes. He would be the enabler, smuggling cheese and ice cream into the house and sneaking the kids bites.

Coming soon!

I realize that I can be a serious slacker when it comes to keeping up my blog. But I have a plan. Aaron deploys soon, and right now things are just so busy. But I have a lot of goals I hope to accomplish while Aaron is away, and one of them is to blog daily about everything going on. I will be working on getting healthy and in shape. I will be taking classes online with CTC. And I think in the fall I will start potty training Shea. I think she will be ready by then. If I could have both kids out of diapers by the end of 2009, that would be wonderful. The plan is to blog about it all.

As for right now, my mother in law just came for a visit. Aaron is taking her to the airport right now to go home. Then he is on leave for another week and a half. We don't have any bog plans, but we hope to find a sitter at least one of the nights. We have a list of things we need to get done around the house too. And as usual we have our bi-weekly Waco trips. I wish there were more exciting things to tell, but there isn't. More to come!