A Rare Moment

Wow! Shea is sleeping in this morning! Amazing! Bethany is eating breakfast right now. I can type with two hands! It is so much faster. I even took a shower already. As usual when I turned off the water, I braced myself for the usual screaming I would hear, but everyone is content. Nobody was screaming. Well today is another school day for Bethany. I love school days. It is so nice to get thinggs done with one less kid. Plus it's great for her. She can go play and do crafts and dancing with other kids. Yesterday Shea and I had lunch with a new friend. She is a woman with two little girls almost the same age as my two. She feels the same as I do about being a mom. We both love our kids, but dont feel fulfilled by being a mom. It was so nice to talk with someone who doesn't go on and on about how they love every minute of being home with their kids. Not everyone feels that way, and I am slowly learning, that I don't need to feel guilty for the way I feel. Today I need to go to Sam's club for more diapers for Bethany. I have Shea in cloth diapers, and Bethany in paper diapers. I know it's weird. I keep hoping to get Bethany potty trained soon, so it seemed like a waste of money to stock up on cloth diapers for her. I realize I would be able to use them for Shea too. I don't know. It's just how we are doing things. Last night was Bethany's swim class. We have two more classes. Tonight and tomorrow. She hardly needs the instruction. She is a natural! She pushes away from me and goes dog paddling off toward the 10 foot deep end with the instructor and myself chasing after her. She is fearless. But I admire that very much about her. I hope I can teach her how to be cautious when necessary, without killing that special quality.

Would it be dumb if I start counting down the days until Aaron comes home for Korea? I don't actually know for sure when he will be home. I have just picked a date in my head that should be close to the real date. So, I am going to say, 348 days left. That is a lot of days. It's OK. The number will shrink. I miss Aaron. the good thing about kids is that they keep you really busy. I haven't had time to dwell on Aaron being away.

Well Shea is awake now, so my time is up.