Sunday, August 26, 2007

Me time

What I wouldn't give for just a tiny bit of time to take care of myself. Despite being here for almost 4 years, I still feel like I don't have any solid friends. All of my military wife friends have moved. For the few minutes each week I get in Relief Society before nursery has me come in to help them deal with Bethany, I get to hear about all of the activities I know I can't go to. Enrichment nights, moms night out, temple night, etc. I wish Aaron was home so I could go and feel like one of the girls once in a while. Make some friends, do something fun. Right now, I barely use baby sitters, because not too many people know what to do when Bethany has a meltdown, and I am still exclusively breastfeeding Shea so I can't be away from her for too long. But I trust Aaron and know he can handle Bethany. I think part of it is that I am lonely. Aaron is my best friend, and I miss him. I feel like there are often entire weekends that I don't say anything more intelligent than, "Bethany! Are you stinky?" During the week, I get slightly more interaction with adults. I do try to get involved in playgroups, and such. But those are not often. What I really want is to feel like a human being again. I want to feel pretty, and have friends, and do something for fun. I love my girls to pieces, but I don't feel like I exist anymore at all. Okay, I am done whining.

1 comment:

Becca said...

Does the Nursery "have" to come and get you every week to help with Bethany. For goodness sakes it is only 2 hours a week, I am sure that they can handle it. Could you bring this up to your RS or even Primary President? That is ridiculous, you need a break. We have a little boy with autism in our younger nursery and instead of the two usual people, they have three adults in that Nursey so he can feel safe, secure and there is always that extra person just kinda on the watch for him. Not that he is singled out or anything but if they notice him getting riled up, they just go over calmly and try to play some of his favorite toys with him or give him a little snack. His Mam met with us and that is what we came up with (I am in the older Nursery). Sorry this is turning into a book =(. Take care sweet lady!