I ate 3 cookies!

Ugh! I made it 12 days sticking to my diet plan, then I ate 3 cookies that were out of bounds for me. Oh well, back on track tomorrow. Usually this is where I would feel guilty, and figure I already messed up so why not just totally give up the diet. And that is why I have not lose weight! So I am going to forgive myself and get back on track. I bought some cute shirts from Kohls today that are just a slight bit snug. So I would like to keep on losing so I can wear them. I think what made me give in to the cookies today is that all day I have had an anxious feeling, and I don't know why. You know how you feel when something is about to happen? Also, I have lost 7 pounds but I still look like I am about 4 months pregnant. I was hoping for little change at least. Maybe slightly looser jeans or something. Where did the weight come from? I see no change and none of my clothes fit any differently. I am not expecting drastic change for 7 measley pounds, but it is hard for me to figure out how I wouldn't notice something at all. Well, if I keep losing it will have to get noticeable at some point. I guess I need to stop obsessing.

My Sweet daughters

Here are a few pictures of my girls from when we were in CA visiting my family.

I just want to write this down so I remember it. Earlier, Bethany was pulling my socks off, and when she saw that my toes are painted red, she thought I was hurt. She was examining my toes saying, "Oh what do we have here? What happened? Are you okay? I go get you a bandaid!" So she went and got the box of Elmo bandaids and covered each toe with a bandaid. I love sweet moments. Shea has also been a joy. Despite teething, she is still the happiest, friendliest girl around. Everywhere she goes, she rides on my hip grinning really big and waving at anybody and everybody. The only time I see her not grinning and waving is when Bethany gets in trouble. Then Shea shakes her finger at her, and says, "NO!" So then Bethany will say, "I sorry Shea." Bethany makes me laugh a lot too. Lately she wakes up about once a night, when I go in to check on her, she will be about 90% asleep, but she will mumble something like, "How do you spell cat?" or ask me to read "If you Give a Mouse a Cookie". But she is always back to sleep a second later. It's funny to see whats on her mind when she is sleeping.

3 more months

Around 3 more months until Aaron comes home. I feel like we are in the home stretch now. Which is good! But at the same time it drives me crazy. When I know there is still a ways to go, I am able to just keep busy and try not to think about things too much. It's like I block myself from thinking about how much I really miss him. Not to say it's just a breeze. I always miss him very much. But when we get to the home stretch, like we are now, I feel like I miss him even more! It is the anticipation of him coming home. I am letting myself think about how great it will be to touch him and see him, and smell him. He always smells like Irish Spring soap. You don't know how many times I have sniffed the bars of Irish Spring soap in the grocery store. People probably think I am nuts. Who cares. It makes me happy. So suddenly I am feeling so restless. It feels like this past year was moving a little slower than usual, but now that we are toward the end, it is soooo slooow going. I am so excited for him to come home!! I don't even care if there is gear all over the place, and if he snores really loud, and makes me watch the History channel. I am just too happy to see him again soon. So for now, I really have to work harder to make myself not obsess over the time left.

Motivation

So, I am back on Weight Watchers. Well kind of. I am not signing up for meetings, but I still have my point counter, and I am just following the program myself. Today was my first day, and I did good! I stuck to my points.

A couple of mornings ago, I got out of the shower and bethany was standing there in the bathroom. She looked at me oddly, and started playing with my belly. Yes, I still have that stretch mark covered, deflated tire look from 2 pregnancies. Anyway, she said to me, "Eww Mommy! Yucky gross!" LOL!!! She cracks me up. Nevertheless, I figured, "Okay! I can take a hint." If my 3 year old thinks my belly is yucky gross, then maybe thats the motivation I need to get serious. Now I know she probably wasn't even thinking about my fat, and was just being a 3 year old. But I am going to use it as motivation anyway.

ATA Airlines

This is kind of a sad moment. A few days ago ATA airlines ceased operations and filed bankruptcy. This is the airline I used to fly for. It is sad for me to remember such a wonderful time in my life, and know that the company no longer exists. I met so many wonderful people. Co workers, passengers, and people in the different places I laid over in. I got to live in Indianapolis, Chicago, Dallas, and New York. I saw so much of the world including such places as Bahrain, Iceland, Cyprus, Turkey, Germany, England, Ireland, etc. etc. etc.

I met my husband on a flight! He was coming home from a 6 month tour in Kosovo. We got to talking and another flight attendant took a picture of us (and some random guy who wound up in the picture. Aaron is the guy on the left sitting down.). He asked me to e-mail him the picture, so I did. Then he e-mailed back, and I replied to him, and we began to instant message each other. Then we began talking on the phone, and he convinced me to fly to Atlanta for a date. I flew nearly for free, so it was no biggie. So we had a date, and the connection was instantaneous. We were married a year and half later.

I have so many great memories, such as getting to practice evacuations and deploy the slides at the simulator, the time during a manual safety demonstration that I somehow got my arm and head stuck in the life vest and had to duck into the galley to get it off, burning all of the in flight meals on my first time working in the galley, when I was first pregnant with Bethany I had morning sickness to bad and the in flight meals made it ever so worse. A soldier on one of our military charters saw my face was nearly green while serving meals and he insisted he finish serving the meals. He even wore my apron, lol. I could go on for a while with memories and stories.

But anyway, 2,500 employees just lost their jobs, with no notice. I hope they all find their way home safely and can find new jobs.