Who I am

Roasted Salmon Stuffed with Spinach, Feta, and Ricotta

2010-11-12T16:46:00.000-08:00

Roasted Salmon Stuffed with Spinach, Ricotta, and Feta
recipe from wholefoodsmarket.com Serves 6

Ingedients:
1 (2lb)center cut boneless, skinless salmon fillet
1 cup of ricotta cheese
1 cup of feta cheese, crumbled
salt and pepper to taste
1TBSP dijon mustard
1 cup baby spinach, divided
extra virgin olive oil
chopped dill
chopped oregano

Method:

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
Butterfly salmon fillet through the center so that it lays open flat in one large piece like a book. turn salmon over so the gray underside is facing up and arrange on a clean work surface. In a bowl, mash together ricotta and feta until well blended, then season with salt and pepper.

Season salmon with salt and pepper then spread fillet with dijon mustard and arrange half the spinach over the top leaving a 1 inch border around the edges. Evenly spread the cheese mixture on top of the spinach, then top with the remaining spinach. Starting from one of the long sides, gently roll up the salmon and tie snuggly with cooking twine at 1 inch intervals.

Gently transfer salmon to a greased baking sheet then brush the top with olive oil and season the outside with salt and pepper. Scatter the dill and oregano over the top and sides and roast until just cooked through.

Okay so as you can see, I don't follow directions very well. I forgot to buy twine, so I have to do it a different way. I also used a smaller fillet and thus a smaller amount of all of the ingredients. I also used reduced fat ricotta and feta. Salmon is fatty enough by itself, and last time I checked, there is not any reduced fat salmon on the market. Salmon does however have the omega 3 fatty acids so it is still a healthy food. And really yummy!

End Result: It was really yummy! I may have overcooked it a tad. I am not a professional chef. Did I mention that? But it wasn't too too overcooked. It was still quite good. I served mine with some brown rice and broccoli because my 5 year old will eat rice, and my 3 year old picked out the broccoli at the store. So really you can serve this with whatever you want.

Minestrone Stir Fry

2010-11-04T16:14:00.001-07:00

One of my goals for this "deployment" is to try a new recipe each week. My criteria for the weekly recipe is that it must be healthy and something I would not typically make. I also aim to only use fresh produce and herbs when possible. Hopefully after 52 weeks of this I will have a handful of healthy meals that we have discovered we actually like!
Week 1: Minestrone Stir Fry (found on wholefoodsmarket.com) serves 4
~The Recipe~
2 tsp extra virgin olive oil
1 cup chopped, peeled eggplant
1/2 cup chopped celery
1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper
1/2 cup chopped red bell pepper
1/2 cup chopped yellow onion
1/3 cup chopped carrot
1 tsp dried italian seasoning
1/2 tsp fennel seeds
1/4 tsp red chile flakes
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1 cup chopped tomatoes
1/3 cup tomato juice or vegetable broth
1 cup of cooked whole wheat pasta
1 cup chopped spinach
1/3 cup chopped basil
1/2 tsp salt

Heat olive oil in a large nonstick skillet over high heat. Add eggplant, celery, bell peppers, onions, carrots, italian seasoning, fennel seeds, chile flakes, and garlic and cook for 5 minutes adding a little water to prevent sticking. Add tomatoes and tomato juice and continue to cook for 3 minutes longer. Add pasta, basil, and spinach and salt and cook 1-2 minutes longer to heat through.

***My thoughts***
I gave my youngest a plastic kids knife and my 5 year old a butter knife to help chop the veggies. They love helping me cook and when there is actual prep work involved like preparing veggies instead of just dumping a box of macaroni in a pot, it can create a really nice experience of working together and cameraderie in the kitchen.
I told my girls that all great "cookers" (Shea's term) taste test their food. I was shocked when my girls who tend to be insanely picky, taste tested each vegetable! My kids are seriously the pickiest kids I have EVER met. Most foods that people consider kid friendly are not MY kid friendly. Thats how picky they are. So just having them taste test each of the raw veggies they were chopping made tonight a success.
I then followed the recipe and it was very easy and fast to make! Once it was cooked, Bethany wanted no part of it, but Shea actually ate a few spoonfuls of it. It didn't taste bad at all. The flavor was just fine. I didn't love it, but I may just need to get used to this healthier fare.

Day 1 New Adventure

2010-08-29T12:09:00.000-07:00

We are nearly a civilian family now. We have to turn in our ID cards in a week! It feels weird. Very weird. I can't really explain how I feel about it, because I am not sure I understand myself. I think I will always consider us an Army family to some extent. You would think that this would mean no more deployments wouldn't you? Well, not so much. We are doing it one more time. I can't give too many details too soon, but I will share as I can.

Day 1:

As I type this I have a 5 year old laying next to me whining because she wants to do a puzzle on the computer. Just 2 minutes ago she was engrossed in her Leapster. My 3 year old is sitting on my back bouncing up and down. I am laying on the floor as we do not have any furniture yet. We just moved and our household goods wont arrive for another 5 days. So my 2 girls and I are hanging out in a fairly empty house. Tomorrow Bethany starts back to school. I was feeling a bit sad to see summer end, but with an empty house and little money for entertainment at the moment, the kids are bored, and whining to fill their time. We kept toys to bring with us instead of being packed, but they are tired of those toys. I think I am ready for her to go to school tomorrow, just to curb the whining. She is super excited.

I got to talk to Aaron a little while ago. He is still stateside for the time being while he is in training. he asked me to send him boots and paperwork. Well, I suppose I will wait for my friend Nicole to show up. We are going to shampoo the carpet this afternoon. Totally exciting. I better let Bethany do her puzzle and go get Shea out of the refrigerator. I hear her in the kitchen helping herself.

Way of life

2010-02-01T14:36:00.000-08:00

I watch a lot of HGTV. I love every show on that station. Lately House Hunters cracks me up though. On House Hunters, they show someone looking to buy a house and the realtor shows them 3 different homes. Then they choose one. In nearly every episode you hear the same things. From watching this show, I now know that just about everyone considers, a good view, granite counters, crown molding and hard wood floors the epitome of perfection.

One thing people complain about a lot is the noise. If there is a highway within 3 miles, people will grimace, and don't know if they can live like that. Or they only have 1 acre of land so their neighbors are too close. Or it is not a gourmet kitchen.

I think Aaron and I should be on House Hunters when we eventually buy. We will be the easiest people they have ever had on.

You see, we live in on post housing. We live in a duplex which means we share a wall with our closest neighbor. We also share a front lawn. Our nearest unattached neighbor is approximately 20 feet away. In the morning and about 3 times between dinner and 11 pm we hear colors and retreat (the bugle and canon), and Taps played over loud speakers. We have train tracks approximately 1/4 of a mile from the front door. When it goes by the walls vibrate. It is extremely common to hear soldiers practicing their shooting at the range at all hours of the day or night. My kitchen is small even for a galley kitchen. I have next to no counter space. 2 outlets total in the kitchen and laminate counter tops. We have linoleum floors throughout.

And I am happy.

OK ok, when we do buy a house, I will be looking for a bigger kitchen. Some counter space would be nice. But honestly, I sleep through trains, and bugles, and shooting, as do my kids. The floors are easy to clean and so cheap that I don't hold my breathe all day and live in fear of a kid spilling their juice or anything. We have plenty of space.

What it all boils down to is that we have enough. And I have learned that home is what you make it. This is one lesson I have learned during my time as an Army wife. I think I am going to miss Army life a little.

Just a funny

2010-01-28T10:51:00.000-08:00

Shea kept telling me her butt is too big. I kept telling her it is not. I told her she has a little butt! So then she started saying, "My little butt is too big!" I know exactly where she got this fixation on having a big butt. She got it from her big sister Bethany who comments regularly on my big butt.

Imagination

2010-01-28T10:42:00.000-08:00

My Bethany has such an imagination. I love that about her. Her and Shea have a bunch of Fisher-Price Little People Toys. They are really into playing with the Noah's Ark animals lately.

I was folding laundry and Bethany came running up to me and tol me, "Mommy I have some bad news! Zebra needs to go to the Dr.!" So I asked her why. "Because his stripes are bleeding!" At this point, I can't resist asking how he got hurt. "I was throwing him at the ceiling and he bumped his ear on a lady bug and the ladybug went crunch and her spots fell off. Then zebra landed on her spots and slided across the floor and hit his butt on the wall and I stepped on him and my shoes scraped up his stripes." Oh, ok. Makes sense. I told her to go ahead and take him to the Dr. So she had Shea get out the doctor kit toy and they checked him out before wrapping him in a toilet paper bandage until he was one big ball of TP.

I'm still alive

2010-01-25T08:33:00.000-08:00

Wow! It's only been about 6 months since my last blog entry! But now I have a new back round and pics, so I am ready to start posting on my redecorated beautiful blog. Got to give a shout out to Becki for giving my blog a make over! Call Becki for all of your blog makeover needs! She only has 4 young kids to raise, so she is really bored and has nothing better to do.

so where have I been the last 6 months? Dealing with a very personal crisis. I will spare the details, but I did bring it up, because I have learned that how you deal with things in life is very important. I leaned on a family friend who has been through the same thing, except she chose to keep the drama going and be totally miserable. For 20 years. She is still complaining and negative about every single thing in her life because she feels cheated by what happened, but is not interested in changing her circumstances or attitude.

I realized real quick that I do not want to be her when I grow up. So I went back to school, and started caring about myself a little more because that is the only thing I could do. I made the choice to respect myself. It feels good to be a little selfish and do for myself. I don't feel guilty at all. I feel like I am happier, therefore so are my kids.

Anyway, this blog will not typically be so serious. Anyone who knows me, knows that I can talk about my kids a LOT. I am surprised people don't run in the other direction when they see me coming, out of fear I will make them listen to the latest thing Bethany or Shea said. I may also complain about neighbors, talk about school and boring mundane daily tasks, and just type anything on my mind to avoid housework.

More to come...

Impromptu block party

2009-09-29T18:11:00.000-07:00

It was one of those great evenings where you feel like you have been transported back a few decades to where this was more of a common occurance. These days we don't often meet our neighbors or get along with them, etc. But the other night was different.

I was sitting outside with 2 of my neighbors while our kids rode their bikes. It all started when another neighbor went out to her front yard and turned on her sprinkler to water the grass. Her 2 daughters ran out behind her in their bathing suits and started running in the sprinkler. Bethany saw this, and ran over and plopped on the grass and yanked off her socks and shoes and ran to join them in her jeans and top. I eventually let her take off the jeans and run in her top and underpants. Luckily we know this neighbor and she had no problem with this. The other kids saw Bethany join in and they too started yanking off their socks and shoes.

So we grabbed our chairs and moved to the driveway. One of my friends has the lawn connected to the other neighbor so she turned on her sprinkler too, so it was 2 spinklers in one long yard. Then other kids on the street started showing up. So their parents followed. Then somebody made a joke about BBQ, and next thing you know we had a few BBQ's pulled out and all of us checking our kitchens for hot dogs an whatever else was handy. Then the MP's pulled up to see what was going on and they stayed for a few to visit. They couldn't stay long because they wereon duty. The kids ran in the sprinklers until dark, and the parents sat in lawn chairs in the driveway. It was awesome! Here are a few pics I took as things were just getting going.

An original Bethany story

2009-09-09T19:06:00.000-07:00

Tonight Bethany wanted me to read her a story but I am too beat up from my class tonight to get up and get a book, so I suggested we make up our own story. I got her started with, "Once upon a time there was a princess named...." She chose to name the princess "Shiloh" after a boy in her class. And here is the story...
Me: ok Princess Shiloh like to....
Bethany: Eat princesses!
Me:oook. So one day she went to a castle but instead of a princess she found a...
Bethany: shell! But it was too loud and crunchy!
Me: So she went to another castle...
Bethany: What about Bethany! There is a princess Bethany!
Me: ok she found Princess Bethany at the next castle, but he didn't eat Bethany because Bethany said she wanted to be her friend.
Bethany:But Princess Shiloh said no! And went home.
ME: One day Princess Shiloh was walking and he saw Princess Bethany
Bethany:And Princess Bethany called her stupid and so Princess Shiloh got in a helicopter and flew to the desert and there were cactus's. Like in Texas. And there was a cowgirl and her horse ran away.
ME: Hmmm, do you think Princess Shiloh can give her a ride in the helicopter?
Bethany: Yes, and they flew back to Princess Bethany's house, and Princess Shiloh told Princess Bethany and the cowgirl to be friends and leave her alone!
Me: So did she go home then?
Bethany: No. She ate princess mommy's biiiiig nose and gave her back a small one. Then she went home. The end!

College girl

2009-08-21T22:53:00.000-07:00

I have been working on getting squared away for school for a little while now, and I am thrilled to say that after spending the last 2 days in the student services center, I finally finished up the process! I have classes locked in and paid for by financial aid. I just need to go get books. Now my schedule is a bit weird, but here is the deal. I am wanting to get into an RN program after we move next year. But I need a degree plan for now. So I chose biology as my major because many of the pre requisites for the RN programs involve a lot of science. Most of the classes were already full so there were no openings in math, english, science or history. So I am taking 2 psychology classes. General, and Life span and growth study. I go on campus 2 days a week for that. I am also taking 2 online classes. Music appreciation which is my humanities requirement, and pharmacology. Pharmacology is part of the RN program but is also one of the few RN program classes I can take before I am in. The counselor tells me pharmacology is a hard class, but she thinks I can handle it because I got such high reading and english scores on my placement test. I will have to take it at some point and I did not have many options, so I said, "Fine. Let's do it!" I am really excited because this is the beginning! I am getting started to better my life. I am doing something for myself! It feels good!

Lap Dance

2009-08-15T12:16:00.000-07:00

Yes, we look pretty silly

The other night my 4 sisters, one of my sister Heather's friend's, and I drove to downtown San Diego and took a private lesson on how to lap dance! It was awesome! It sounds slutty, but it really wasn't. No men allowed in the studio and everyone was fully dressed. It was quite a workout! We are all still sore. But it was so much fun! And the stuff we learned is totally something you can go home and do for your husband. Trust me, the routine she taught us will not meet any complaints from any hubby's. lol. Well, my husband is deployed, but that just gives me more time to practice and get in shape. Actually thinking about continuing lessons back in TX. A lot of women take the classes as a workout. There was one lady leaving as we showed up, and I chatted with her for a few minutes and she told me when she started the classes she was bigger than me. This lady had an awesome body. But anyway, it was a really fun way to break up the normal every day routine. And it was great to be with my sisters and just laugh with each other.

Vanilla

2009-08-03T23:29:00.000-07:00

We are currently visiting my family and friends in CA. My parents have a cat named Estella, but my girls have gotten it all wrong despite being corrected several times. They insist on calling her "Vanilla". Both Bethany and Shea immediately fell in love with her and Estella/Vanilla seems to love them right back. She lets my girls harrass her while she eats, and pull on her tails and get in her face. She is very concerned when either one of them is crying or upset too. I wish we could take her home with us. Maybe I should have gotten the girls a cat a while back. Here are some pictures of them. In the first picture, yes Shea was taste testing her food for her.

My First Pair of Running Shoes!

2009-07-20T10:38:00.000-07:00

I am so excited! Today I bought my first pair of running shoes! Bethany and I went to Dick's Sporting goods. Although I know squat about running shoes at this point, I figured I could trust the guy in the store to know what he was doing, since as soon as I walked up he told me that I walk on the outside of my feet. I guess people who know this stuff notice how people walk. I am still in the walking portion of my couch to 5k program, but I am about to pick up the pace. More to come...

The value of a friend

2009-07-13T20:05:00.000-07:00

Today one of my best friends moved away. Her son was also Bethany's first real best friend. I am so sad. How often do you find a friend who understands you, and leans on you but not too much, and helps you out when you need help? A friend who is right on your level.

I have had 2 such friends. My best childhood friend Stacey who I am still close friends with, and now Violet. These two people have been there for me, and I never felt judged by them.

As for Bethany and TJ, in a neighborhood and age where other kids already tease each other, and take notice of their weaknesses, they are still innocent compared to many other kids their age who are already acting like teenagers. Sure, they fought like an old married couple over the stupidest things. One of my favorites, was the repeated arguments over which one of them was 4. Because they can't BOTH be 4, you know. Despite the fighting, if they are apart more than a day, they ask for each other. TJ is one of the first people Bethany wants to show a new toy, or sticker, or picture she made.

A lot of friends have come and gone in the last 7 years that I have been part of a military family, but this one is the hardest yet. I was so sad to see Bethany and TJ give each other one last hug and kiss good bye and to try and explain to Bethany that he is not coming back and will not live at his house anymore, but we can send him pictures and talk on the phone.

I will miss sitting with Violet after the kids go to bed, and just talking. I suddenly feel very lonely with Aaron gone, and now my friend and her family. I know we will make other friends. And with Aaron getting out of the Army in another year, maybe we will even make some friends we can keep! It is one perk to switching over to the civilian life.

Violet, when you read this, I hope that you get your college done, and go on to accomplish everything you are hoping for. And I hope you will be happy. You know how to find me anytime you want to talk.

Safety Fair

2009-06-19T20:38:00.000-07:00

Today was the safety fair on west fort Hood. They had the fire department there, and the police, and people doing carseat inspections and even a boat with people showing the kids how to put on life vests. There was also snow cones, free food, a jumping house, and more! The kids had lots of fun. Shea loved the snow cones and finished off not only her own but Bethany's and our neighbor Jennica's too.

I think the coolest part though was that the fire department had a huge trailer set up like a little two story house with a kitchen and everything. They had kids go in and they talked about kitchen safety. During the kitchen safety speech Bethany told the firemen that I had told her there would be snow cones here, and she wanted one. Then when they took the kids upstairs and turned on the smoke machines Bethany told everyone it smelled good like when her mommy makes dinner. Hmmmm. I do tend to make things well done, but I didn't think I was that bad. Then she got to climb out the window onto a balcony and a fireman helped her climb down the ladder.

We had a great time. I am only sorry that we got worn out before they showed the video of our soldiers in Iraq. Our company made their first video of this deployment to show us, but after 3 hours, the kids were done. I am sure there will be another chance to see it.

Meanest Mom/ Western Union giveaway!

2009-06-11T07:49:00.000-07:00

If you all have never read the blog: themeanestmom.blogspot.com Then you need to go read right now! She has one of the most hilarious blogs I have ever read, and right now she is doing a giveaway with Western Union. You can enter to win 100 dollars for your husband for Father's day! go check it out!

http://themeanestmom.blogspot.com/

Mr. Butterfly

2009-06-02T16:48:00.002-07:00

Bethany found a dead moth today and has made him her pet. She has been petting him and feeding him and has named him Mr. Butterfly. I tried to suggest Mr. Butterfly should live outside because he likes the fresh air, but Bethany didn't agree, and my suggestion was met with hysterics. She is now firmly attached to her pet, and is not letting him out of her sight. Maybe I should have taken her more seriously this past week when she kept asking to go to the pet store to get a big green cat. She is obviously wanting a pet pretty badly. Here are some pictures of Bethany with her friend Jenna and Mr. Butterfly.

We make a great first impression!

2009-05-27T20:12:00.000-07:00

So recently I had the great idea to join a playgroup. I figure it will keep the kids busy a lot and have fun things to do, and I can meet some more people since my favorite people are PCS'ing to Fort Carson this summer. (I know you are reading this Violet) So I found some playgroups and chose one to apply to. The manager of the group told me that they like to do a trial play date before approving members to make sure they don't get any weirdo's who don't actually have kids or anyone crazy. So we agreed to attend the play date to the Belton fire station for a tour this evening.

While we were waiting outside for everyone to show up, my two darling daughters were running off in opposite directions. Do I chase the 4 year old who is running off to pet that snarling dog on a chain or do I chase the 2 year old headed for the road? After I get my kids back to the front of the building I notice that all of the other kids are standing quietly next to their parents. No kidding there were 3 year olds standing there talking calmly to each other. So bizarre.

Finally the tour starts and Shea starts having temper tantrums about 3 minutes into the tour. I was carrying her as she made her body stiff as a board and screamed, while Bethany tried to argue with me because I refused to buy her candy out of the candy machine in the hallway. This went on for about 15 minutes as we followed the tour. It even continued once we got to the garage where the big trucks are kept. Finally when the fireman was modeling the oxygen masks for the kids and explaining fire safety, Shea just laid down next to him and flopped around like a fish out of water and screeched non stop. Bethany didn't do too badly except for the fact that she was all over the place. At least she wasn't screaming and came when I called her. I hated to make Bethany leave, but Shea was just going crazy and the other kids couldn't hear the fireman talking.

I was quite surprised when I came home to an e-mail expressing sympathy from the other parents and welcoming me into the playgroup! I think I will need to pick which play dates we attend very carefully. No tours. It would be nice if there was a sound proof park nearby that was surrounded by an 8 foot prison fence with electric wiring. Then I could just sit down and chat with the other moms while the kids play.

Daily Log

2009-05-26T21:15:00.000-07:00

Just popping in to report on today. I will try to update daily, but I am not looking to turn my blog completely into a diet journal, so there will be all the other stuff too.

I tried to do well and I did ok, but not perfect. I only got on the elliptical twice today which is not a lot when you consider that I don't last very long. Here is what I ate today:

Breakfast: 1 serving of steel cut oats with a little pat of butter
Lunch: 1/2 cup of beans (I was in a hurry. Lots of fiber though!)
Snack: 1 Luna Bar ( I love these!)
Dinner: Salmon and broccoli cheese rice (I was going to have peas but then I saw the package of rice and I caved. Bad Amanda!)

I need to go to the store tomorrow. I am going to buy lots of fruit! I always do for the kids, but I am looking forward to some apples!

Time to lay it all out there.

2009-05-25T09:17:00.000-07:00

I am getting serious about losing weight now. I started off slow, trying to get used to Aaron being deployed and make my small changes. I am still taking baby steps, but will also be stepping it up just a little bit. I have decided to be fully honest because I think it will keep me from slipping up so much if I know I have to share any failures. So for that reason I am about to share my starting weight and measurements. It is pretty scary to share measurements, but how can I be excited and share if I lost half an inch if I don't share my starting measurements? I will also be posting a picture of me. Believe it or not, sharing a picture of myself right now is even scarier than sharing the measurements! I have been avoiding the camera for a long time now. So here I go!

I am 30 years old and 5'3.
Weight: 171.8 lbs
Chest: 40.5
waist: 41 inches
hips: 41 inches
thighs: 24.5 inches
arms: 12.5 inches

Scary isn't it! Of course Bethany had a comment while watching me take measurements. "You measuring your boobies, mommy?" So then she wanted her boobies measured. So she wrapped the tape around her to see her number. I told her she is just right!

Ok, now for a before picture...(Bethany took the picture for me, and of course had to have her picture taken too)

Sweetness

2009-05-18T19:55:00.000-07:00

Today when Bethany and I went to pick up Shea from school, I was buckling them into the carseats, and Bethany was being so sweet. She was handing Shea toys, and giving her kisses. Then as I drove home I saw in the rear view mirror that Bethany was holding Shea's hand. Then I heard her telling Shea, "Shea you are a great friend. You are my best friend." I thought it was so sweet! Especially considering that just yesterday she was ready to beat Shea senseless over a broken blue crayon. Thank goodness for the sweet moments.

Boobies

2009-05-17T22:27:00.000-07:00

For some reason Bethany has been very pre occupied about "boobies" lately. She is always poking mine with her finger or telling me that she see's my boobies. Earlier as I was undressing the kids to give them a bath, Bethany was examining her own chest and asked me, "Where are MY boobies?" I told her that she will get boobies when she gets older. "But I want them noooooooowwww!" Ummmm, I don't know what to tell you, you are just going to have to be patient.

About 45 minutes later after the girls had their bath and were dressed in jammies, Bethany walks down the hall with 2 plastic toy blocks under her shirt. She walks up and tells me... "TJ is going to love this!" Oh geez! (TJ is her 4 year old boy friend who lives across the street). What do you say to a 4 year old who is eager to show off her fake boobs to the boy across the street? LOL! I decided to ignore that comment in hopes that she will soon forget about all of this boobie business.

Days like yesterday

2009-05-12T12:36:00.000-07:00

On days like yesterday when both the kids and I were sick and it was chaotic and I just wanted to talk to Aaron, but we got disconnected, I can relate to this cartoon. Wouldn't it be nice if spouses got medals too. lol.

Home sick

2009-05-12T08:01:00.000-07:00

We are all sick. Yesterday was worse. today it seems that we are on the mend. Still not feeling at 100%, but getting there. Bethany seems to be feeling better too. She has been insisting that we bake a chocolate cake for her friend TJ who has been sick with an Upper respiratory infection. Unfortunately if is 3 days before payday and the I don't think you can make a chocolate cake out of old Velveeta, frozen chicken, condiments, rice, and cereal. Not to mention I am really not up for baking today.

Mom's aren't allowed to be sick. Yesterday as I was miserable and dry heaving, I was also comforting kids, giving baths, and washing everything that they vomited all over. Today Bethany is home from school so we don't share the illness with all of her schoolmates. We are also under heat advisory, so we will be staying inside and eating pedialyte popsicles.

Yesterday I was thrilled to get a call from Aaron. It has been about a week since his last call, and I especially wanted to hear his voice yesterday. Unfortunately we were disconnected after only one and a half minutes. I am hoping he calls back today. Before too much longer he will get set up and the internet and phone calls will be a little better than they are now.

My weight loss plans are coming along. Being so sick yesterday probably helped me lose a pound or two. not the way I usually like to lose weight, but it's one little perk. Well things are pretty dull at the moment. I will stop my babbling now.

Every day!

2009-05-06T18:52:00.000-07:00

Everyday. I will be posting everyday once Aaron deploys. That's what I said, isn't it? Yet you may notice it has been a few days since my last blog. That, my friends is because I am lazy. That said, I am really trying to do better. So lets just say that I will post every day that I possibly can.

As for today, my kids were nuts! I want to know who was slipping them chocolate bars and energy drinks! Shea was running around screaming and Bethany was just in constant movement. Finally about 15 minutes before bedtime I was just so exhausted, so I grabbed jammies and decided to call it a day. However the kids did not share my feeling, and they still don't. Here we are an hour and a half after their regular bedtime and Shea is singing to herself, and Bethany just came out for about the 17th time. This time it was to inform me that there is a fly in her room.

It is just another crazy week here, but there are two things that have me excited. One is that tomorrow is trash day! No I have not lost my mind. A friend of mine counts the trash days until her husband comes home from a deployment because lets face it. 52 sounds a whole lot better than 365. I stole this method from her because I like it. So tomorrow I can say one less trash day until Aaron comes home. Speaking of Aaron he has called twice now, and it was great to talk to him. He is doing well and even ran into our next door neighbor in the showers! lol. My neighbor's wife had not heard form her husband yet, so she was happy to hear something about him. Sometimes it is just comforting to know that "hey, he was in the showers earlier!" instead of sitting and wondering what they are doing and if and when they will call.

The second reason I am excited is because my Grandma and her husband Greg just moved to Texas and they are just about an hour drive away! They bought a house years ago and were renting it out, but about 6 months ago they felt it was time to leave California, and they started making plans to move. Right now they are getting settled in, but hopefully we will get to see them this weekend! I am thrilled to have family nearby. Especially my Grandma. My Grandma is wonderful, and so is Greg. I love them both. Being a military family you move around a lot and sometimes I really miss having family around.

That's all for today. Maybe I will post again tomorrow!

Tomorrow I begin

2009-04-30T18:42:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow is May 1st. That is the day I set for myself to get started on my goals during Aaron's deployment. For the month of May I will be drinking 4 water bottles a day, and 100 sit ups daily. Not all at once! I am way too out of shape for that. But 100 sit ups through the course of the day. Those are my only goals toward weight loss and getting healthy and in shape. My whole plan is about baby steps. I want to make these a habit before I add more challenges. I am looking forward to getting started.

As for today, it was another crazy day of therapy for Bethany, and what feels like non stop diaper changes, sweeping and mopping the floor, and bathing the kids. There is an endless amount of dirt around here. With all of the rain we have been tracking mud in the house and the kids can't make it to or from the car without getting dirty. Bethany's latest thing is playing hopscotch, and every time we go outside she wants me to draw hopscotch squares with chalk. It keeps her busy, so I am happy with that.

Another day

2009-04-29T19:45:00.000-07:00

Today was an extremely busy day. We were on the go all day. I dropped the kids off at school, then I went to Tricare to have my PCM (doctor) changed because I can't stand my current assigned doctor and I don't feel comfortable going to him for health care. Then I went to the commissary and spent the last 20 bucks in our account on a few groceries that couldn't wait. Thank goodness tomorrow is payday!

Then I picked up Bethany and took her to Occupational Therapy. The therapist was working with her on her eating and it was really hard because she was screaming and crying because the therapist was insisting she use her utensils and have to try other foods besides the regular stuff she is willing to eat. The child can't continue to only eat rice, spaghetti with butter, and macaroni and cheese. So it is important to try and change her diet habits. But I had a hard time with it. I knew she was hungry and wanted to just let her eat, but I managed to keep back and let the therapist do her thing. Then we came home for a short bit, and I did some laundry. Then we got Shea from school, and came home, and made cookies because Bethany was really wanting to make cookies together. She dumped the whole bottle of vanilla in the bowl while my back was turned but the cookies came out fine despite it.

After that we went across the street to my neighbors house. They have 2 kids that Bethany likes to play with. While there, my neighbors started having an argument, but the kids were playing and I didn't want to make the kids stop playing, so I just watched the kids who were in the front yard. Then the husband got on his cell phone and was talking and wandered to the side of the house. The kids all followed so I picked up Shea and went over to tell Bethany to come back to the front yard where I can see her. But she was already around the corner to the back of the house, so I went to the back just in time to see the husband turning the corner onto another block deep into his conversation, and no kids around. I circled back to the front of the house but Bethany was not there, so I start to panic and go looking all over the neighborhood for her, and find the husband on the phone and the 2 9 year olds and the 5 year old telling Bethany they don't want her around and to go run to the freeway. The freeway runs right behind our housing and only has a chain link fence to separate. I was super upset because Bethany did not comprehend that they were being mean to her, and she takes everything literally. Despite my efforts and those of the school, she still does not comprehend dangerous situations, and she would go and run on the freeway thinking that they were playing a game. She knows how to climb the chain link fence too. So I was very upset. I later talked to their parents and they were mortified too and assured me they will talk to them about it and make sure they understand that they cannot say things like that because Bethany doesn't understand things the same way they do and she could have done what they said. I am always watching my kids, but today really showed me how fast things can get out of hand. It is so upsetting to me to feel like I can't protect her even by making her understand danger. She knows she is not to go in the street alone, but doesn't understand why not. And like many young kids I usually have to remind her repeatedly and get onto her when she does run to the road or start to cross without me. But I spoke to her at bedtime about remembering not to wander where I can't see her and to never go in the road. Hopefully it will stick if I keep reiterating it.

This evening I did manage to get some housework done. There is so much! I always thought I appreciated my husband, and I have done it alone before when he was deployed int he past, but not having his help shows me just how much he really does around here when home. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful husband who is a team with me, and does so much at home. Even in the 2000's there are still a lot of husbands who don't do anything to help at home. So if you are reading this Aaron, I love you very much and I truly appreciate what a wonderful husband you are.

Countdown clock

2009-04-28T08:01:00.001-07:00

I uploaded my countdown clock today. It sits on the top left corner of my computer screen at all times counting down the months, days, hours, minutes and seconds until Aarons estimated return. Sure it seems a little extreme, and no I am not falling apart over this deployment. This is our third Iraq deployment plus a Korea tour in between this and th last one. I got it. I love and miss him, but I can handle it. So I haven't cracked up. I just really like countdowns. I use this countdown for other things besides the deployment too. I just like seeing the time go down on a continual basis because I can see that time is not standing still and we are getting closer every second. I like to see a lower amount everytime I log in to my computer.

In other news, Bethany and Shea are doing a little better. Bethany still keeps asking where Daddy is, but I think I found a way to make sense of it for her. She has also taken over Aaron's side of the bed. I have woken up the past two mornings to find her laying in bed with the remote control in hand watching tv, lol. Yesterday we spent the afternoon at a friend's house and the girls had so much fun playing and having their nails and toenails painted, and making finger paint pictures to send Aaron once we get his address. Then last night my friend popped over to play phase 10 with me and hang out a bit. That was a lot of fun!

Today is a Waco day. I can't tell you how much I look forward to the day we get the call that they have an opening for her speech and pt here in Killeen. We will save so much time and gas. I really dislike driving to Waco so often.

Off to a shaky start

2009-04-27T07:58:00.000-07:00

I told myself that once Aaron deployed I would be diligent about my blog. I will just blog about everything. I am not really feeling it today, but decided to just do it. I am not really feeling like doing much of anything today. It is rainy and dark and gloomy outside. The kids are both at school, and the house feels emptier than usual even though Aaron would have been at work anyway if he was not overseas. Bethany is testing me hard. She has been defiant and sassy, and I realize that I need to get her back in check now and not let this continue. There is a fine line between giving her extra attention because she is dealing with the fact that her Daddy just deployed, and letting her get away with behaving badly. I think I am doing all right. Yesterday Bethany had me cracking up. She was helping me in the kitchen, standing on her stool in only her underpants. For some reason she can't keep clothes on. I do dress the child everyday. Anyway, Shea kept trying to get up on the stool too, and she was grabbing onto Bethany's underpants to pull herself up. Bethany got mad and told Shea, "Sheaaaa! These are MY big girl underpants! I am doing my job helping mommy. You need to get out of the kitchen!" Poor Shea. But it was so hard not to laugh. I think we may need to get another stool. Speaking of big girl underpants, Bethany went potty everytime again yesterday! I was so pleased. I hope we can keep this going. She is getting closer and closer. My hope is that she will be at least fully day trained by this summer, and I can start potty training Shea in the fall. I have not started what I have named "The Deployment diet"yet. I am giving myself until May first to get started. And it is not like it is a big diet really. Baby steps. It is all about not beating myself up over things, and just taking it very slowly and making lasting changes. My goal for May is to start drinking 4 water bottles per day at least and no more soda. That's it. Hopefully by June I will have made it a habit, and I will pick another goal to make a habit. Each month a new baby step. Adding in more exercise, and diet changes, etc. If it takes me all year to lose my weight, so be it. I want the changes to be lasting. and I have already learned that I have too much trouble sticking to drastic diet and exercise changes. As for Aaron, I have not heard from him yet, but I think he probably got to Kuwait yesterday. From what I understand the lines for internet are probably pretty long because everyone wants to get in touch with their loved ones. So I am not sweating it. Aaron will call or e mail when he can.

All worth it

2009-04-16T14:13:00.000-07:00

This is one of my latest favorite pictures of Bethany and Shea

There are so many moments as a mom that are crazy, chaotic, and messy, and tiring, but every once in a while you get a moment that reassures you that you are right where you are supposed to be in your life. Last night I had one of those moments. I had to write it in my journal too because it is right up there with some of the most precious memories I want to remember. I was putting the girls to bed last night, and after storytime on the couch, we all went off to Bethany's room to tuck her in then onto Shea's room to tuck her in too. While I was tucking Bethany in, Shea was hanging out waiting. After I said goodnight to Bethany, I told Shea "Come on! Time for you to go to bed." She got up and went over to Bethany's bedside and said, "Night night Betty. I lub you!" Then gave her a kiss with the "mwah" sound and all, lol. Bethany kissed her back and said she loves her too. So aside from being so sweet, Bethany got to be the first person Shea said, "I love you" to. I hope they will always be close and love each other like they do now.

Breaking the rules

2009-04-13T13:44:00.001-07:00

I really enjoyed our day today. Both kids were in school all morning, so Aaron and I got to enjoy some time alone. We ate a leisurely breakfast and had conversation. It was very relaxing. At 11 a.m. we went to pick up Bethany from school, and were met by a very sour faced 4 year old. Her teacher told us that she had not been bad at all, but had a very difficult morning. She was upset because another kid messed up what she was working on, and then she lost a piece of one of the toys and was bent on finding it. But she did not find the part before it was time to go home. So Aaron and I decided to break the rules and take her out for ice cream for lunch. When she realized we were pulling up to Dairy Queen instead of our house, she got so excited. She went up to the counter and told the boy at the register that she wanted chocolate! Then we spent a nice long time sitting in a booth while she ate her chocolate sundae. We talked about insects, and her excitement to meet her teacher's new guinea pig tomorrow at school, and her upcoming field trip to a ranch. It was a lot of fun for me too to get to spoil her a little and have some special time with her and Aaron.

2009-04-11T13:46:00.000-07:00

Random quote of the day: "Mommy, what letter does Q start with?"

Can't concentrate!

2009-04-07T15:14:00.000-07:00

Just in case anyone was wondering, the average time it takes me to write on of my blog post's tends to be about 6 hours. Not because I research what to say, and make cute backrounds, and edit it to perfection. The reason it takes so long is because typically I will start with the title. Then I write half of a sentence. This is about the time my 4 year old tells me she is hungry. This is the same child who ate lunch, and seconds and some of her sister's food and the easter candy she swiped while nobody was looking, all less than an hour prior. So I tell her that there will be a snack time at 3 p.m. I then write 2 more words of that first sentence. But have to stop again because my daughter is writhing on the floor, wasting away from starvation. About this time I hear a crash from a bedroom and Shea starts screaming, so I go to check on her. I come back out and all seems well, so I sit down and write 2 sentences. Then noticing how quiet and calm things are, I get up to investigate. I find my 4 year old in front of the open fridge taking one bite out of each apple. So I get her away from the fridge and get her distracted with some finger painting. Then I decide to cut the bitten apples into slices and put them in baggies. I come back into the living room and find my daughter finger painting her younger sister instead of the paper. Thank goodness for washable paints! I figure she is already messy, so may as well let her paint too. So I get her set up at the table to paint too. I sit down and try to remember what I wanted to write. I type almost a whole sentence and my husband comes in and sits down and decides to tell me every detail of the book he just finished reading. I sit and try to look interested. I really try. I go back to typing and this time get a few sentences out when my husband asks why I look so serious. I tell him I am typing. He asks if something is wrong because I look mad. I tell him, "no, I am just trying to concentrate." I ask him to give the kids a snack. I know I should just do it myself. He is not an idiot, but he does feel the need to ask me several questions about the process. So once the kids have snacks and hubby goes to do something, I start to wrap up the ending of my blog post. My daughter comes over and starts hanging from my chair and climbing on me wanting to know what I am doing. I tell her I am writing. She tells me she needs to go potty, so I tell her to go ahead. Then she tells me she already went in her pants. So I change her and clean her up. I then seem that my younger daughter is covered in paint, so I decide to just put them in the bathtub. Once they are bathed and dressed, I come back and try to finish that last sentence. My husband pokes his head in the door and asks, "You gonna start dinner?"

Exzema, Autism, and Dairy

2009-04-07T15:05:00.000-07:00

Well it seems that Shea has eczema. According tot he doctor anyway. She has been getting a dry red rash on her cheeks, lower back and thighs since we moved to TX about 9 months ago. We have tried so many different ointments and creams and lotion, and none work. Today the doctor sent us home with desonide cream and cetaphil moisturizer. We shall see how those work. I don't think her eczema is too awful. I have definitely seen worse cases. But I still feel bad for her because she itches her back constantly. Plus the rashes just look so dry and uncomfortable. Someone told me they cut out dairy and it helped. I find that interesting because I know a lot of parents of children with autism say that cutting out dairy helped their children a lot. My older daughter is on the autism spectrum. I have had some minor health problems lately and it was suggested that I cut out dairy. I am starting to think I should try to cut off the dairy in our house! I will have to learn a little more about how we can make up for the calcium, but I think I may give it a shot. I will be waiting until after Aaron deploys though because he doesn't do well with dietary changes. He would be the enabler, smuggling cheese and ice cream into the house and sneaking the kids bites.

Coming soon!

2009-04-06T11:05:00.000-07:00

I realize that I can be a serious slacker when it comes to keeping up my blog. But I have a plan. Aaron deploys soon, and right now things are just so busy. But I have a lot of goals I hope to accomplish while Aaron is away, and one of them is to blog daily about everything going on. I will be working on getting healthy and in shape. I will be taking classes online with CTC. And I think in the fall I will start potty training Shea. I think she will be ready by then. If I could have both kids out of diapers by the end of 2009, that would be wonderful. The plan is to blog about it all.

As for right now, my mother in law just came for a visit. Aaron is taking her to the airport right now to go home. Then he is on leave for another week and a half. We don't have any bog plans, but we hope to find a sitter at least one of the nights. We have a list of things we need to get done around the house too. And as usual we have our bi-weekly Waco trips. I wish there were more exciting things to tell, but there isn't. More to come!

Getting closer

2009-03-24T08:30:00.000-07:00

I just realized yesterday that Aaron's block leave starts in a few days. After leave it won't be long at all until he leaves for Iraq again. I am really trying not to think about it. I want to enjoy his leave time with him and the kids. Nevertheless, I have found myself starting to do the same little things I have done the other times he deployed or went to Korea. Things like watching him sleep and trying to memorize the details of his face and hands. Trying to memorize the silly things like the callus under his wedding ring, and the exact feel of his face with stubble on it. I am doing a good job of convincing myself this really wont be so bad. It is only a year. As opposed to the 17 months he was away with school and Korea combined, or the 15 month deployments that some soldiers are still on. His job is one of the safer ones to have. He can get internet and talk on the phone, so we will be in touch often. I really feel like I can't complain too much. But I will miss him anyway. I am trying to make goals to accomplish this year and sign the kids up for different things to keep us extra busy. We will be going to CA for my sister's wedding this summer too. So maybe time will just fly by.

Latest from the funny farm

2009-02-10T07:24:00.000-08:00

We have just been a busy bunch of people. I am baby sitting my friend's two kids this month while she takes a cna course. Her kids are 4 and 2. Put them together with my 2 kids and there is mayhem. They try to show off for each other. We have had to lock every door in the house leaving only the bathroom and Bethany's room available. This was learned because they were getting into the office and our bedroom and Shea's room and trashing the place. Bethany's room is where most of the toys are. So we are having some wild times here this month. But Bethany and TJ (the 4 year old) think they are boyfriend and girlsfriend. It is kind of cute. They hold hands and whenever TJ goes home Bethany asks for him. My friend says TJ asks when he gets to go back and play with Bethany too. He says he loves her, lol.

Bethany has reached the 4 year old stage of being sassy and a pain in the butt. We are having to crack down hard here. She is being defiant and dramatic. Anyone who knows Aaron, knows that he doesn't mess around, so he has been all about letting her know this attitude wont fly. Don't get me wrong. She can still be sweet and funny. She just suddenly thinks she is running the show. I have been having to put her in the corner a lot. Sometimes it is hard not to laugh though. Yesterday on the way to speech therapy, she asked for pretzel sticks. I told her there was a baggie in the backseat next to her. She said there wasn't. I told her to keep looking. She went off. She said, "That's it!! I am leaving! I'm finished! I am going to Connie's house! I... oh pretzel sticks!" Yup, she found them.

Shea is doing well. She is a silly girl. She usually torments Bethany by standing nearby and laughing at her when she gets into trouble. but Shea has reached a stage herself. The 2 year old stage. Lot's of fits. Lot's! Like I said, we are having some wild times here.

I am back on a diet and doing pretty well. After me box of girl scout cookies the other day, I got back on track. I am trying really hard to drink lots of water, and eat serving sizes, and more veggies. No soda or sweets or fast food. Aaron and I are going out this Saturday night, so it will take some extra will power to eat right when we go to dinner and the movie.

Aaron is doing well. He is either working or helping with the kids these days. For as stern as he is trying to be with Bethany's attitude, he sometimes can't help but laugh too. the other day Bethany told him, "Daddy, do you need to learn to follow directions!" He couldn't help himself. He just busted up laughing. He is on a kick to get into shape this year too. He would love to be able to do a marathon in about a year.

that's it for now!

justification

2009-02-08T12:48:00.000-08:00

I am on a diet. Seriously. I have been doing well too! But now I need some help. Can anyone who reads my blog help me justify the entire box of girl scout cookies I just wolfed down with only the help of a 2 year old? They had peanut butter in them. That's healthy, right?

Shea's Big Girl bed

2009-02-07T18:42:00.000-08:00

Shea got her big girl bed today. She really loves it and was so excited. Here are some pictures of her and her new bed.

Such is military life

2009-02-05T06:27:00.000-08:00

Things change a lot when you are a military family. You see people come and go a lot. Sometimes you are happy to see them go, lol. Other times it can be hard. I have become really close with a neighbor friend (not the crazy one). We watch each others kids all the time and she taught me how to make tutu's for my girls to play dress up with. She told me this morning that she found out her husband re enlisted and got the duty station they were hoping for. I am so sad that they will be leaving here in about 6 months, but happy for them because it is going to be a great experience for them. Another friend I have known online for years, and now we are based at the same place! The only problem is that we can never seem to get together. She is pretty busy, and I have been busier than usual too lately with sick kids and Bethany's therapies. We keep saying "Let's get together!" but we haven't managed it. I read on her blog that her family is planning to PCS (move) by the end of this year. I am hoping to hang out with her more before they do go. And I know they love the adventure of military life, so I am happy for them to move on to their next adventure. But sad to see them go too. I can't really say much. We hope to PCS out of here as soon as we can ourselves. I have made some great friends in the time I have been an Army wife. We were in GA for a long time, and I saw a lot of people come and go. Some of them I became really close to and it has been hard to keep up with the ones who aren't online much. Sometimes I daydream about settling down somewhere and buying a house and staying there forever, but I have to admit that it is a little exciting to wonder where you will go next and who you will meet along the way.

**Disclaimer: If any of my post doesn't flow well or make sense, that might be due to the fact that I have been interrupted at least 40 times by my kids and the (make that 41 times) kids I am watching who can't stop fighting over toys or beating each other up.

Shea's Birthday party

2009-02-01T12:57:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we celebrated Shea's 2nd birthday at McDonalds. She will actually be 2 on the 4th. We had a nice time with some friends and their kids. Here are some pictures.

more updates

2009-01-30T08:08:00.000-08:00

Well, we are still just busy people. Aaron is finally wrapping up the phase they have been working on at work. A phase is when they take a helicopter and strip it down to the frame. Then they examine all of the parts and fix and maintenance what needs to be done. then they put it all back together. It takes seeral weeks and they have been working 16 hour days. With a deployment coming up in a few months, I am really hoping he can be home more.

I have been busy too. There are the usual things like taking Bethany to Waco twice a week for therapy. I am also trying to get things squared away with going back to school. I am a serial dieter as some of you know, and I am trying again to just eat healthier and do my workout more often. I will be watching my friend's kids for the month of February. Just from the morning time to early afternoon. She is going to school too.

Bethany is doing well. She has gotten a serious attitude that we are trying to squash. She tells her teachers and therpists and us "no". If we tell her to do something she will say she doesn't want to and tell us to do it ourselves. She has been spending a lot of time on time out. Otherwise she is doing well. She is still the same funny kid. She talks non stop now. She was such a late talker that when I heard other parent's say that they sometimes wish their kids would just be quiet, I didn't understand how they could say that. Now I do! I love hearing Bethany talk and the funny things she says. there are just times I wish I could hae a moment of silence. Liek when I am in the bathroom or shower. But that is not a big problem. Her constant jabbeing makes me laugh.

Shea is almost 2! Her birthday is on the 4th. She has starting throwing fits. Full on fits with screeching and laying on the floor and kicking her legs. It can be amusing unless we are somewhere like the grocery store or doctor's office. then other parents look at us all shocked, as if their kids are perfect. I don't let it get to me too much. Shea is starting to talk more. She has been sick lately, so she mostly just wants to snuggle. I won't complain about snuggling. I want to get all the snuggles I can before she is too big for me to carry her around anymore.

So there are my mostly boring updates. The big exitement coming up is that we are going to get Shea a big girl bed soon. I think she will love it. I am excited to pick out her bedding. It will be fun.

Bethany's new bed

2009-01-12T07:16:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I noticed a nearby neighbor had put a childs bed out at the curb for trash pick up. I took a closer look and it was mostly in great shape! So we hauled it in. Aaron spent 10 bucks at Home Depot and put a couple of 1 by 4's in the bottom to support the mattress better. He also put in some wood screws to secure the frame and make it sturdy. Then I cleaned the bed with Simple Green. (Aaron is in love with Simple Green. We buy it in the commercial sized concentrated bottles at Sam's, lol) Then I used a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser to get some crayon off of it. I think it turned out great. See for your self!

Our Anniversary

2008-12-28T22:51:00.000-08:00

Today was Aaron's and mine 5th anniversary. We have been together 6 1/2 years, and married 5 years. Such a short time, but at the same time it seems like so much has happened in 5 years! He deployed to Iraq before we were married, then after we got married I was pregnant 3 months later. We had Bethany 3 weeks before our first anniversary, and Aaron deployed to Iraq when she was 6 weeks old. He came home when she was 13 months old, and 5 months later, I was pregnant with Shea. He left 3 days after Shea was born for 5 months in Virginia for school to learn his new MOS, then was off to Korea for a 1 year unaccompanied tour of Korea. Shortly after that we received Bethany's diagnosis of autism, and I was very busy learning, and trying to help her. I also became a lot stronger. It was easy to resent Aaron for not being around when I needed him most, but he was not away being a deadbeat. He was away serving our country where the Army felt they needed him at that time, and supporting our family. Without him in the Army I could not have been a stay at home mom, and we would not have had the good insurance that has proven to be a huge blessing for all of Bethany's needs. We don't make lots of money, but we have security, and that is huge in this economy. And he works very hard to be a good soldier, and to take care of us. I had to get over the self pity, and do my job which was to get over myself and be the mom and wife my family needs. I grew a lot. Aaron came home in July when Shea was 17 months old, and less than a week later the movers came to pack our things, and after a visit with my in laws in Orlando we were off to Texas. We have now been here about 5 months and still getting settled in, but things are falling into place. We are now preparing for Aaron to deploy around May, and just trying to enjoy our time together right now. We had a great date night to celebrate our anniversary. We went to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. The movie was great, and I really loved just having some time to snuggle up to my handsome hubby and enjoy a movie together. We have had some rough times, but I know we are very blessed, because there are people who have had a much worse time than we have. We are still madly in love, and we laugh everyday together. We have 2 beautiful children together as well. What more could I ask for. How about another wonderful 5 years. Better yet, 50 more!

Silly video of Shea

2008-12-27T20:09:00.000-08:00

Shea is so silly. I just wanted to share this video clip of her at the dinner table. she is always an enthusiastic eater, so this is typical of her.

The Santa Picture

2008-12-27T20:04:00.000-08:00

Here is our picture with Santa! We took the girls to the mall, and were very lucky to find a short line to see him. Bethany was very excited and aksed me several times if I remembered the camera so we could take a picture of him. They won't let us take pictures with our own camera, but I decided not to get into a lengthy explanation with her, so I just assured her that we would get a picture with Santa. When she got to sit with him, she froze though. she was like a deer in the head lights. Shea just climbed into his lap and slouched down and got comfy. They were so cute.

Making Christmas cookies

2008-12-27T19:44:00.000-08:00

We had a great time making Christas cookies on Christmas eve. Bethany loved rolling out the dough and using the cookie cutters and especially decorating them. Shea was the taste tester, and Aaron and I helped decorate cookies. Before bed, Bethany picked out 3 cookies to leave out for Santa. To make things look realistic, "Santa" left lots of crumbs and a few bits of cookie on the plate. When Bethany got up she went over to the plate and the first thing she said was, "Santa didn't eat all of his cookies!" We laughed and told her he must have gotten full. She accepted that explanation and moved on to her gifts.

A few updates

2008-12-15T21:27:00.000-08:00

First of all I am still having trouble uploading pictures from my camera to the computer, so I don't update as much as I would if I could post pictures because I keep thinking, "Oh yah, I will blog about that when I get the pictures up." Then I don't. But here are a few updates.

Aaron is still working a lot. He had the flu over the weekend, and he thought it was food poisoning, but when I woke up this morning with the same thing, we realized it is not food poisoning but something contagious. I really just hope the kids don't get it. I was lucky that Aaron was able to leave work and come home today. He usually can't leave, but he has already made himself a good reputation in the company, so they know he is not a slacker. This is the first time he has had to leave work early.

He took Bethany to her speech therapy appointment, and the therapist and Aaron and I are both very pleased that she has been asking so many "why" questions. Her therapist explained that this is the beginning of cognitive thinking, and will lead to the who, what, where,when, and how questions.

Bethany is lots of fun these days. Bedtime is my favorite time of day with her. Not just because she is going to bed, and I will get my "me" time, but because I really enjoy her routine. We read stories, and then she asks for kisses. Then another one. Then another one, Then last one. Then she tells me she loves me more than chocolate milk, and I tell her I love her more than cookies, and we go back and forth with that a few times.

Shea is fun too. She loves dancing to her favorite show, "Yo Gabba Gabba". Yo Gabba Gabba is a little strange the first few times you watch it, but the kids really get into it. Okay truth be told, Aaron and I get into it to. Aaron likes Biz's beat of the day, lol. Shea is also talking a lot more and asserting her Independence. She enjoys bothering Bethany too. After all that is what siblings are for! The other day I couldn't help laughing because Bethany had laid out a blanket and brought out her pillow to watch her hour of tv for the day, and Shea plopped down right there and was hogging her pillow and snatched away her stuffed animal. Bethany started pushing on her and whining, "Sheaaaaa! No! Get away!" But Shea would not budge. So I got Shea her own pillow and blanket and set her up next to Bethany, but Shea went right back to Bethany's set up and Bethany about had a cow. Maybe it is one of those "you had to be there" stories, but it was pretty amusing to me.

Bethany had her 4Th birthday too! I have pictures to upload for that day, so I will give more details later. We had a nice turn out of people, and the kids played on the playground. Aaron made kool aid for the party. The kool aid was pretty bad. We don't usually drink kool aid, but I knew that wasn't how it was supposed to taste, and everyone else was grimacing as they drank it too. Aaron thought it was pretty funny. I think he used too much sugar, because I made some kool aid the next day, and followed the directions and it came out fine. Bethany enjoyed her birthday and now tells me every morning that it is her birthday.

Well that is all for now!

Survey about my husband

2008-11-24T22:14:00.000-08:00

I just realized that it has been nearly a month since I have updated my blog! So I started thinking about what has been going on lately so I could write about it. But we must just be extremely boring people, because I have nothing to tell, lol. SO in catching up on my friends blogs, I stole this survey from Becki. Thanks Becki!

WHAT IS YOUR HUSBAND'S NAME? Aaron
HOW LONG HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN MARRIED? It will be 5 years next month
HOW LONG DID YOU DATE? about a year and a half
HOW OLD IS HE? 29
WHO IS TALLER? He is, by almost a foot.
WHO CAN SING BEST? Hard to say. But I will say it is him because whenever I sing, Bethany yells at me to stop singing and she covers her ears. Aaron is allowed to sing though, so based off of that, he must be the better singer.
WHO IS SMARTER? I would really love to say I am, but I can't. We are both pretty smart, just about different things. I think he probably is just a smidge smarter though.
WHO DOES LAUNDRY? Mostly me, but Aaron often chooses to wash his own uniforms and PT's
WHO PAYS BILLS? That would be me. He makes the money and I send it all off.
WHO SLEEPS ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE BED? Aaron does.
WHO MOWS THE LAWN? If we had a lawn, Aaron would probably mow it more than I would.
WHO COOKS DINNER? I do most of the time. Aaron is good at cooking steak, and his specialty french toast. He also makes cheesy Ramen or PB& J sandwiches.
WHO'S THE FIRST TO ADMIT THEY ARE WRONG? Truthfully, Aaron. Even when he is not wrong he just apologizes if I am upset.
WHO KISSED WHO FIRST? Aaron kissed me first.
WHO WEARS THE PANTS? I wouldn't say either one of us wear the pants necessarily. But I think I tend to call the shots around here more than he does, just because he is so laid back he is usually happy to go along with whatever I think is best. He will speak up if he doesn't agree, but it is rare.

Bethany's first Haircut

2008-11-03T11:10:00.001-08:00

Yes, I know she is almost 4 years old, but we were reluctant to get her haircut and lose the beautiful curls. But it was finally time to do it. The ends were looking raggedy. So we went to a kid friendly place, and had the girl take about 2 inches off the back, and 1/2 an inch off the shorter pieces. We want to get her hair to all the same length but we don't want to cut a lot off, so we are evening it all out slowly. Bethany did great, and her hair looks healthier. I, of course had to keep a bit of the hair to put in her baby book.

Halloween

2008-11-03T10:56:00.000-08:00

Well, things didn't really work out the way we planned this Halloween, but everything is okay now. On Friday Shea got really sick. I couldn't get her fever down, and she got hysterical and her legs were trembling. So I took her to the ER.

I was really upset knowing I would miss trick or treating with Bethany, but more worried about Shea, plus Aaron planned to take her, so that was good. But then at the hospital when they triaged Shea, they rushed her straight back to a room and several nurses were in there trying to get her fever down and they catheterized her for urine, drew blood, and kept her arms taped to a board to keep the blood drawing catheter in her arm, and did x-rays. They were all worried because she was screaming and arching her back in pain before they even started all of the tests. Then they started talking about admitting her to the Pediatric unit, and I asked the nurse if I needed to have my husband come. the doctor told me yes, to call him up.

So Aaron left Bethany with a neighbor (not the crazy one) who agreed to take Bethany trick or treating with her kids. We were glad she could still go because she was so excited. Aaron got to the ER, and thankfully about an hour later, her fever broke. We then waited on the labs and x-rays for another 2 hours, but by the time they let her go home she was sitting up in the bed playing with Aaron's sunglasses and looking at books. She had kept down 1 1/2 pedialyte popsicles too. Aaron ate the other half of her 2nd popsicle, lol. We had to bring her back the next morning for a follow up, but she slept through the night and was doing well. She still is. We still don't know why she got sick, but whatever it was seems to have passes.

Our neighbor told us that Bethany was the most excited kid out there trick or treating. She was dancing around telling everyone, "I'm Tinkerbell!!" As a matter of fact she is wearing her costume now and asking Aaron to put treats in her basket. And I have to wrap this up because she just burst in the room demanding I find her Tinkerbell shoes. This is the first year she is really into the holidays, so we are having a lot of fun too. It is really sweet

I am Bella

2008-10-25T16:23:00.001-07:00

Take the Quiz and Share Your Results!

You are observant, diplomatic and often aim to please. You are unaware of your
attractiveness and despite being uncomfortable with any form of attention, people enjoy your company. You can be impatient, stubborn and headstrong, but you are true to your word and mature for your age, often taking care of your family and enjoying a good book over chatting with girlfriends on the phone.

Dieting again

2008-10-17T10:03:00.000-07:00

So I am back to dieting again. I started when Aaron left for JRTC on the 8Th, and at my first weigh in, last Monday, I had already lost 2.8 pounds! I chose to weigh myself on Mondays. I am not following any particular diet. I am just trying to cut down significantly on soda and sweets. No fast food. I am trying to drink lots of water and eat lots of fiber. I usually mix 1/2 a cup of fiber 1 into my better tasting cereal (Special K Cinnamon and Pecans) and that gets me at 14 grams of fiber right there! Then to meet my quota of fiber, I have to eat more veggies and fruits, and beans and grains. I try to make sure I am getting protein too. I have been working really hard at this for once, and I am looking forward to my next weigh in. I was so proud of myself when my sister (who is visiting) ordered a large cheesy pizza and cinnamon sticks with icing, and I did not touch any of it. I ate my lean cuisine, and had a low cal dessert. I let myself have the occasional 100 calorie packet of cookies, or a sugar free Popsicle. Last night my sweet tooth took over and I had a few of my sisters peanut M&M's, but I stopped after just a few. Normally I would finish the bag. So I just need to keep going! I am going to have to work extra hard when Aaron gets back and when my kids get candy on Halloween, but I am so sick of being fat. I am trying to ficus on the Christmas party that Aaron's company is planning this year. It is going to be semi formal for adults only, and I really don't want to look like a cow stuffed into a cocktail dress.

Bethany is doing so well!

2008-10-10T20:52:00.000-07:00

I am so pleased. Bethany is doing so well! I had a meeting the other day with her teacher, the special ed. director, speech therapist, occupational therapist, and district rep. Bethany is doing wonderfully in school. The speech therapist told me that she doesn't need speech at this time, which was the second time hearing that this week. She finally got her speech evaluation at a speech center and she tested into the average range for her age! She is on the low side of the average, but it is still wonderful. At school they will retest her after Christmas to see how she is doing. The speech center is still going to take her on though to help her improve even more. She does still need occupational therapy. The OT discovered that Bethany has pretty low muscle tone, so that might be affecting her diet (hard to chew some foods), potty training (trouble with control), and some other things. So we have some things to work on there. But she is doing great in school. The special ed director asked her teacher what makes Bethany stand out in her class, and the teacher said that Bethany learns faster than any of the other kids in her class. She is very smart, and is soaking up everything they teach her. She is still working on social and behavior skills. She is a good girl for the most part, but she is also a 3 year old. Sh has gotten a little diva attitude lately. It is hard not to laugh because it is so funny. So overall I am very pleased that she is doing so well.

Out to dinner with the kids!

2008-09-26T18:12:00.000-07:00

Tonight we decided to go out for dinner to the Golden Corral. We only have 2 kids, but we are a chaotic mess when we try to go out in public. Sometimes we do manage to pull off looking like a nice sweet family, but tonight was not one of those nights. We walked in and were lucky to have nobody in line in front of us. As the girl at the counter filled our drinks, some people came in, and Bethany started unwrapping and handing out straws. I stopped that as soon as I could. People were a bit confused, but they just said thank you. Then I carried the tray and Aaron carried shea who was twisting and whining because she wanted to be put down to walk, and he helped guide bethany who was not at all paying attention and kept wandering off. So we got to the table and I went to get the kids plates of food while Aaron got them seated. Then we took turns going to get our food. Finally we all sit together to eat. Shea is eating a bite, throwing a bite, so Aaron was trying to keep her from throwing food while he ate too, then Bethany had an all out screaming fit because we would not let her eat a piece of watermelon that she found on the floor under our table. She did not want to eat anything on her plate, but she decided mine looked like fun to play with. So I was trying to eat and keep her hands out of my food. Then shea started farting and giggling, so Bethany thought that was hilarious and started burping repeatedly. When they decided they had enough of whatever was on their plates, Aaron went to get them some ice cream. Bethany ate hers up then tried to help the kid at the next table eat his. Then she had a fit because we wouldn't let her. Meanwhile Shea was happily eating her ice cream, but she kept missing her mouth. She would take a big spoonful and aim for her mouth only to have it fall off her spoon into her lap. The lady at the table next to us started laughing when Aaron reached out and caught a big handful of melting ice cream and dumped it on a plate. She told us thats how you know you are a parent is when you do things like that. We were not so awful that we were disturbing other customers. (well maybe one or two), but we were definetly a mess and when we finally just started laughing (because what else can you really do at that point?) some other parents near us were laughing too. Thank goodness we were at a family restaurant full of other parents and kids. We know better than to go somewhere fancy. But I do have to ask myself is it was worth getting kids cleaned and dressed to drive across town and pay a restaurant to let us scarf down some food and keep our kids from causing a riot, when I could have just made a box of mac and cheese? The whole point of going out was to give me a break, lol. Going out takes more effort than staying in, I think.

Bethany was in a parade

2008-09-14T12:49:00.000-07:00

Bethany's school had a freedom parade on 9-11. All of the kids marched in the parade. Shea and I watched and took pictures.

Labor day

2008-09-01T21:59:00.000-07:00

We really had a great day today. This afternoon we went to our neighbor's house and spent the rest of the day with her and her kids. (Her husband is deployed.) We played some volleyball with the kids, and then the adults sat in the driveway chatting while we watched the kids color on the sidewalk with chalk and play in the sprinklers. Shea played in the baby pool. Then we cooked up some frozen pizza's and ate outside. We stayed outside until bedtime, gave the kids a quick bath, and they went right to sleep! I am loving that we live in a neighborhood with a yard now, so we can do fun things like this. We had a few funny moments like when Aaron sat down in the lawn chair and broke it, and when I discovered that Aaron had put Shea in a regular diaper instead of the little swimmer I got out for her. She had a really big bubble butt, so I took her in to change her to a swimmer diaper, and discovered her bathing suit had a huge pile of that stuff they have in diapers to absorb liquid. Poor kid. Aaron thought it was hilarious. The kids got good and dirty. At one point Shea used the hand she was holding her ice cream sandwich in to start digging in her ear. When we got them home they were covered in dirt, and ice cream. But they had tons of fun! We all did!

Halloumi

2008-08-25T10:11:00.000-07:00

This will probably seem silly, but I am excited about cheese! Ha ha. At the store yesterday, we came across Halloumi cheese in the imported cheeses section. Don't ask me why we were looking. Back in my flight attendant days, I had a lot of layovers in Cyrpus. Sometimes I would layover there 5 days at a time, then be back a week later for another several days. It was my most frequent place to layover. I love Cyprus. It is an island mostly owned by Greece, but partially owned by Turkey. The sectioned owned by Turkey is bare for the most part. But the larger part owned by Greece, has resorts and a beautiful beach with clear water. Halloumi cheese is made in Cyprus and hard to find anywhere else. The hotel we stayed at, would serve it every morning for breakfast. I love it. Aaron tried a piece, and he thinks it tastes a bit like mozzerella at first. You can grill this cheese by itself. It doesn't melt like regular cheese. And it is so good. I haven't been to Cyrpus since I quit flying, but I miss flying very much. And I miss the people and the places, and the job very much. So coming across this cheese kind of takes me back as silly as it sounds.

A few pictures

2008-08-22T12:17:00.000-07:00

We are all doing fine. Life is just a little crazy right now. I am beginning to wonder if we will ever finish unpacking and getting organized. Bethany and Shea are playing in one of the boxes right now. They are happy. I was invited to join another playgroup, so I am going to try to get the girls out and about. Today I have an appointment to see where I should begin on getting Bethany squared away and in school. Here are a few pictures.

We are in Texas

2008-08-03T09:46:00.000-07:00

Well, we have arrived in Texas. It's umm okay. Actually it is just going to take getting used to. We couldn't stand Columbus for the longest time, but the last year or so, we got really attached. So hopefully it won't take us too long to like Texas. It is a huge change. GA had lots of trees and green. It had humidity, but I think i got used to it. Texas is less humid, but very hot! It is also flat and brown for as far as I can see. But I do like that despite it being like 100 degrees during the day, as soon as the sun sets, it goes down like 20 degrees right away. I do like that there seems to be things from both the western part of the US and the East coast. And there is a 7-11! For anyone who doesn't know, when I was pregnant with Bethany, I craved slurpees like you wouldn't believe! There were commercials for 7-11 slurpees on all the time, but no 7-11 stores in the state! We had to drive to Florida, lol. Anyway, it kind of became a joke that the next place we live better have a 7-11.

We are still in a hotel. Aaron will sign up for housing on Monday. We hear there is little to no wait for housing right now. We drove around Fort Hood yesterday and got a good look around. I have also found a playgroup for the girls. We are just very eager to move out of the hotel and into our own place. Bethany is about to start helping me type, so I better wrap this up.

Knock Knock!

2008-07-23T21:42:00.001-07:00

Bethany is cracking me up lately! Well I shouldn't say lately. She makes me laugh all the time. Her latest thing is trying to get the hang on knock knock jokes. It is pretty funny. She says "Knock knock!" I say "Who's there?" then she yells something totally off the wall and falls apart laughing hysterically. It makes no sense, yet it makes me laugh. Aaron taught her the one that goes "Boo" "Boo who?" "Well you don't have to cry about it!" I don't think she even gets the joke which makes it even funnier.

Some other funnies... Aaron has 2 missing teeth that simply never came in. so he has a retainer thingie with 2 false teeth attached. The missing teeth are toward the front of his mouth. Well Bethany noticed the silver bar that goes across his teeth last night and wanted to know what it was. He tried explaining it, but she got confused, so finally he just popped it out. I wish you could have seen her face. Her eyes got really big. Now she wants to know why her teeth dont come out too.

She is such a bossy little mommy. She is always fussing at Shea. She literally follows her around all day and takes things away or tells her to finish her food, or get out of something she is not supposed to be into. She also has started playing with a baby doll but all she does is tuck the baby into bed and tell it, "Go to sleep, DO NOT get out of bed again!"

Bethany is one of the pickiest eaters ever. I have never seen the child eat a piece of meat until today. Today I went through Wendy's for lunch since it was 1 om and they had not had lunch. We were on our way back from Wal Mart. Aaron and his mom had been working in the yard too so I knew they would want food. Anyway, while we were eating Bethany looked at Donna's ( my mother in law) burger and asked her, "Is that a crabby patty!?" Donna told her yes it was and asked her if she wanted to try it. Bethany said yes, and took a bite. I totally expected her to spit it out, but she didn't! She said she liked it, but would not take another bite. But this incident has given me some sneaky ideas... Thank you Spongebob!

Speaking of Spongebob, little miss Shea whose vocabulary consists of the words, ball, no, baby, mine, etc.. tries to sing along to the Spongebob song. whenever it comes on I hear her say something that almost resembles Spongebob, lol. Have I mentioned we watch a lot of Spongebob these days? That portable DVD is a lifesaver when you are traveling.

Another Shea story: The other night she was making noises in her sleep, and then I heard her say, "Nee nee! NO!!" I had to laugh. Nee Nee is what she calls Bethany.

Well I think I am done telling sotries about my babies for now. Rest assured there will be more. There is never a dull moment with those two.

A Homecoming and a PCS

2008-07-17T17:54:00.001-07:00

So much is going on right now. We are busier than ever. Aaron came home on July 8th! I spent that day having my hair done and making myself pretty, then left the kids with my mom who was visiting. His flight was an hour and a half delayed, but he finally got there. Funny, but as soon as I saw him it was like he had never been gone. We stayed in Atlanta for 2 days and just enjoyed being alone. Aaron had some requests such as eating at the Waffle House and Longhorn.

We got home on the 10th and right away Bethany just looked at him and said "Hi Daddy!" I was so glad she remembered him. Both her and Shea took right to him. Bethany h as been having some big fits though. We think she is testing him to see what he will do. He is a lot tougher than I am, so she doesn't get away with much.

On the 12th my mom went home to CA and on the 14th the movers came and packed away all of our things. On the 15th the movers packed everything into the truck and we had an empty apartment. Bethany and Shea handled that a lot better than expected although Bethany did keep asking where things were and insisting that we have to find them. We tried explaining everything as best we could, but it is still a bit confusing to the kids.

On the 16th we cleaned up the apartment and packed up the car. It was Bethany's last day at Easter Seals, so we brought cupcakes for her class. It was especially hard to leave Easter Seals. I started bringing her there soon after we were told that she was delayed in speech and socialization skills. She was diagnosed with PDD-NOS (Autism spectrum) soon after. We saw amazing improvement in her in just one month and she continued to do well. Shortly after she turned 3 she was moved from Toddler 1 class to Preschool 2. She had wonderful teachers. Miss Sandy and Miss Melissa were wonderful. It was so sad to take her out. You always hope that your child will be in an environment where they flourish and the teachers love them. I really hope I can find her a great place when we get to TX.

Last night we drove to Orlando and we are staying with Aaron's mom here for about 2 weeks. On Sunday we are going to church with Aaron's Grandma. She lives in a very small community about 2 hours away. Most of the people in the community are elderly and have lived there forever. They have known Aaron his whole life. Not only are they excited to see his kids, but they are so proud of him for his service in the Army. He has agreed to wear his dress uniform to church and the whole community has left up their July 4th decorations for his visit. I am very proud of him too, and excited for Sunday. I will take pictures.

I will have a lot of pictures to upload when we get settled in TX, so be prepared for it! I took pictures of Bethany's last day at school, and of some of our friends in GA too.

We are planning some fun things that the kids will love while we are in Orlando. We plan to take them to the beach and Sea World. We will go on to Texas around the first week of August, and work on getting housing. That's all for now!

10 days left!

2008-06-27T19:38:00.000-07:00

Oh wow! 10 days left until Aaron will be home! I am so excited! When I think about seeing Aaron's face it still seems too far away. But when I think about how much I need to do before he gets home, I don't think I have enough time! I have been working hard to get our things organized before the movers come, and getting paperwork done and updated and gathering records, etc. I finally got to check something off my list, then Aaron called and told me about 2 other things I need to add to the list! I know I should be happy he thought of it, or we would have problems later. I am just pretty overwhelmed. I keep getting rid of stuff we don't need, but the apartment looks as cluttered as ever. On a positive note, Aaron spoke with the housing office and it looks like we will probably walk right into housing and not have to wait! I am glad because we will have a yard for the kids to play in. It may not be fenced in, but I think we can get it fenced. But I am just so happy they will have some space to play outside. Living in an apartment is hard for such active kids. Going to the park takes planning. Not as easy as just opening the door. I want them to have fun kid experiences like playing in the sprinklers. I can't believe there is just 10 days left. I was totally set on losing my baby weight before he got home. But I am still pretty darn fluffy. Good thing he loves me for my sparkling personality. Oh well. I will lose it eventually. I am nervous too. I hope the kids do well with all of the changes coming. I feel sure that Shea will go along with things, but I think Bethany might have a hard time. Aaron and I have talked about it, and we know that all we can do is make sure to give her plenty of attention and talk to her about whats going on and reassure her.

On a good note, I think I am winning the bedtime battle! Bethany has been using some really good tactics to get out of having to go to bed, and be allowed to lay on the couch instead. I made the mistake of giving in a couple of times, but once I wised up to what she was doing I realized I had to get her back to sleeping in her own bed. It has not been easy. She is really persistent. But yesterday she didn't have a fit when I sent her back to bed every time she tried to come out. It was hard not to laugh. She tried casually walking out, she tried doing a belly crawl to the couch, she tried running to a piece of furniture and hiding behind it then going to another piece of furniture, etc. But tonight she didn't even try to come out of her room. So I am pleased. Well thats enough babble for now.

Bethany Funnies

2008-06-09T21:12:00.001-07:00

~ After bedtime prayers, she asked, "Where IS Jesus Christ?" I told her he is in Heaven watching over her to help her make good choices. She looked at me like I was crazy, then started calling out, "Jeeeeeesus!!! Where are youuuuuu?!!!"

~While singing Old MacDonald had a Farm, I usually stop to let her say which animal was on his farm. She really threw me for a loop when she called out "Caribou!" Since then Old MacDonald has also had a turtle, a fox, and an eagle on his farm. I have no idea what sound any of those animals make.

~Bethany is always pulling off my shoes and socks. Recently I was wearing new socks and they left some lint on my foot. Bethany picked off the lint, held it up to look at it better, and said, "Oh! a sheep!"

~When Shea took one of her toys that she was playing with, Bethany got eye level and says, "No Shea. That's mine. Do you understand?" Funny because she got that from me. Whenever I tell her something, I tend to say, "Do you understand?" She sounded like such a little adult.

~For a few weeks now whenever I tell her to do something, she yells "YES SIR!" Like she is in boot camp or something. It makes me laugh every time.

That's all I can remember right now. I will add more another time.

Updates

2008-05-29T08:17:00.000-07:00

First of all, I want to say thank you to Liz for the information. I couldn't access your profile to say thank you, so if you are reading this, I really appreciate the information.

We have only been restricting Bethany's dairy for 5 days now, but it is proving to be pretty tough. Seh goes to the fridge herself and tries to get yogurt and cheese. I had to get a lock for the fridge. I may have to not buy these things or hide them better until she gets used to being without dairy. I have decided not to follow a time line and just take each step as we are ready for it. When I feel like we have the dairy cut off under control, then we will go to step 2. I don't want to try to move so fast, that we get overwhelmed and quit again.

I have now lost 4.8 pounds through Weight Watchers. I am doing good, and well on my way to my goal of hitting my 10% mark by the time Aaron gets home.

Speaking of Aaron, we are getting so close! I am so excited to have him coming home soon! Not excited to be facing a move though.

Shea is up from nap, so I will have to cut this short now.

Too much on my mind

2008-05-22T22:06:00.000-07:00

I have too much on my mind, and I can't sleep. I met a girl today who is 8 years old with Bethany's same diagnosis. I know all kids with ASD are different, but she was so similar to Bethany, that I really felt like it was the closest I will get to an idea of what she will be like at that age. I don't know what is wrong with me. Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind, I am still thinking she will suddenly come out of this. But today I saw reality. Not much I can do except love her and do my best for her. And to do my best for her, I feel like I need to give the GFCF diet another shot. An honest to goodness real good try this time. It may not help her. But it might. This feels overwhelming. The tacanow.org website has a 10 week plan to easing yourself into the diet/lifestyle. I know that it is not going to suddenly become easy. I just need to jump in and figure it out. So I will plan to start Sunday with step 1. Cut out all dairy.

The PCS is hanging over me like a black cloud. Although my husband is fabulous about most things, he is a procrastinator. He also tends to think that everything will just fall into place. I am starting to panic, because I feel like there is so much to do, and I feel like it is all on me to get things done. And I don't have a clue. Literally, not a clue as to where to even start. I know he needs to do his levee briefing to get more info. But thats about as much as I know.

Bethany is not potty training at all now. I have bought stickers, lots of big girl underpants. I sit on the edge of the tub while she sits on the potty for sometimes 20 minutes while she wants to sing songs and we spell every 3 letter word int he english language. She hasn't actually gone in a few weeks now. She will go in her pull up or underpants often within a few minutes of having spent 20 minutes on the potty! It is frustrating! I don't know what to do. I feel like she is at an age now, where I am getting nervous. I guess logically I know she will not be in diapers forever, but it is hard for me to think objectively these days.

I feel like everything is on me. I feel like I am failing if I can't get her potty trained, or help her improve her skills, or cook a decent meal every night, or if I forgrt to take a diaper to the trash and it sits out for a few hours. Yuck! I feel like I need to be superwoman and have everything under control, and I am failing because she has no interest in the potty, she is mean to her sister and pushes her down, We have pancakes for dinner at least once a week. I guess I am just a huge worrywart. Aaron would tell me "It is what it is". As he puts it, he is so laid back that he is almost at a stand still. Why can't I be more like him and relax a little. Trust that all will be okay?

On a happy note, I lost 2.4 pounds this past week. I had my weigh in on Wednesday. I have been trying to work out more too. I am doing pretty well.

Thats the most of it. Hopefully now, I can get some sleep!

Jibber Jabber

2008-05-13T07:53:00.000-07:00

Shea is napping right now. Thank goodness. She was up half of the night crying and I had a hard time calming her. I was worried that my upstairs neighbor would try to call social services again. She has now threatened everybody with small children in this apartment building. She thinks none of us are feeding our kids or they wouldn't cry/act out/ make noise, etc. I am really getting sick of this lady. But I refuse to tiptoe around and let my kids take over because I am too afraid to dscipline them or let them make a peep. So if she has a problem, it is hers alone. It's true I would be upset if Family services show up at moy door, because let's face it! That is scary! Even if you have nothing to hide, it is intimidating to get a visit from people who could take your kids away if they think something is wrong. But I am not going to cower to her threats. I have nothing to hide. And I have faith that most social workers would be able to see that my kids are well taken care of.

But anyway, onto my favorite topic. Losing weight. I have decided to go sign up at Weight Watchers on Wednesday. Tomorrow. I have tried doing it all on my own, and I am getting nowhere. They have a Wednesday morning meeting that you can bring your small children with you to. I have roughly 8 weeks until Aaron comes home, and I so badly want to lose some weight before then. But apparently not bad enough to stop eating crap! I am hoping the accountability of going to the meetings will help enormously. Also I am making a better effort to get to the gym. I am in my gym clothes now with a diaper bag packed. when Shea wakes up, I will give her lunch, and then we are going to the gym. She can play in the nursery for an hour while I work out. If I can get there twice this week, I will feel like I really made the effort. Of course I need to make the effort to continue going as much as I can. I have been trying to do a pilates dvd here at home. It is hard to carve out time for that. I am usually so tired by the time the kids get in bed, and I use naptimes to get stuff done. So I try to do it when the kids are playing, but they both flock over to me and start climbing on me, and pressing tv buttons to find out why Nemo isn't on. Last night though, I waited until Shea was in bed, then I did my pilates while Bethany was still up. I had to stop and take a picture when I realized that Bethany was trying to do pilates too. It was so cute.

If I could figure out how to download the pictures from my camera to the computer, I would post it! I have a new camera that I love so far, but I cannot get how to get the pictures onto the computer! I did exactly what the manual said to do, and nothing happened. Well Shea is awake! Time for me to go.

Happy!

2008-05-09T12:11:00.001-07:00

So many things are going so well right now. We just came home from a visit to Florida to visit my in laws. The visit went so well. It was a much needed break from the norm, and the girls really enjoyed themselves.

Aaron will be coming home in 2 months, and I am getting really excited. Just yesterday my mom agreed to fly out and watch the girls then so that I can pick Aaron up from the airport alone and stay in Atlanta for a couple of nights alone with him!! We have not had time alone since Bethany was born in 2004! I am so excited to just be with Aaron again.

Today Bethany gave me a mothers day present she made in school. It is a card that says "I love you this much", and there is apicture of her with her arms stretched out to her sides. It is cute. Of course it made me tear up. I can't imagine a better gift than something my sweet girls made themselves.

Today when I took Bethany to Easter Seals, she told me "I don't want to go. Let's go to the house." Cute and funny, yes. But also a big deal to me, because this is an improvement in her communication skills! This was a direct statement about what she was thinking and wanted to do. She was not echoing someone else or whining instead of talking. I think when you have a child with special needs, you learn to truly appreciate and be excited about the really tiny things. I feel blessed to have her for my daughter. She has taught me so much about counting my blesings and learning to appreciate the everyday little miracles that often go un noticed by many.

My life is not perfect, but is anybody's I would have to say that mine is about as close to perfect as I could hope for. Our needs are met, I have the love of a wonderful husband who I love more very day. I have 2 little girls who are healthy and wonderful. I have a good family. Life is good.

We are going to Fort Hood

2008-05-07T20:13:00.000-07:00

Well, we found out that we will be PCS'ing to Fort Hood in Killeen, TX this summer! I have a lot of mixed emotions. I am nervous, and overwhelmed at the idea of moving. I will miss Columbus. It really grew on me. But I am also excited for the new adventure. Change is a good thing, right? I know a couple of people there already, so that will be nice. Jamie and Melissa are based at Hood now, but he is about to deploy, and she will be moving back home. I know another girl who I have never actually met in person, but I have known her for nearly 4 years now! I am excited to meet her. I am really hoping we can rent a house there. Aaron wants to live on post this time, but it seems the waiting list is pretty long. So we will probably get on the list, and live off post until it's our turn to get on post housing. I have so much to do! I am glad that movers will come pack us up and move our things, but I still need to get paperwork in order so that Bethany can go to school. I need to find her new therapists too. I would like to go back to school as well. I may not be able to get into college for this Fall semester, but I definitely plan to go in the Spring of '09. My mind is overloaded with things to do. I realize that I am blabbering. Most of all I really want to make some good friends. I have a hard time making friends these days because I am a bit shy when I first meet people, and often I have to interrupt our conversations to deal with one of my kids doing something crazy, so I imagine that makes me difficult to have a conversation with. I have some friends who have kids the same age as my kids. But they don't get out much. I really want a friend or two who I can call and chat with, and do lunch with or get a sitter and go out with to a movie or just hang out. I love my kids, but I want to have some kind of social life too. The kind of friends who might come over and hang out. The kind I can talk to about more than just our kids. I have friends like that too, but not nearby. I must sound really pathetic. But anyway, I think I will make a good effort to be outgoing and meet people when we get to Texas. It looks like Aaron may have to deploy around the end of the year from what we hear. It would be nice to have some good friends especially when he deploys. Anyway, I will quit my whining.

I ate 3 cookies!

2008-04-26T19:32:00.000-07:00

Ugh! I made it 12 days sticking to my diet plan, then I ate 3 cookies that were out of bounds for me. Oh well, back on track tomorrow. Usually this is where I would feel guilty, and figure I already messed up so why not just totally give up the diet. And that is why I have not lose weight! So I am going to forgive myself and get back on track. I bought some cute shirts from Kohls today that are just a slight bit snug. So I would like to keep on losing so I can wear them. I think what made me give in to the cookies today is that all day I have had an anxious feeling, and I don't know why. You know how you feel when something is about to happen? Also, I have lost 7 pounds but I still look like I am about 4 months pregnant. I was hoping for little change at least. Maybe slightly looser jeans or something. Where did the weight come from? I see no change and none of my clothes fit any differently. I am not expecting drastic change for 7 measley pounds, but it is hard for me to figure out how I wouldn't notice something at all. Well, if I keep losing it will have to get noticeable at some point. I guess I need to stop obsessing.

My Sweet daughters

2008-04-18T19:14:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pictures of my girls from when we were in CA visiting my family.

I just want to write this down so I remember it. Earlier, Bethany was pulling my socks off, and when she saw that my toes are painted red, she thought I was hurt. She was examining my toes saying, "Oh what do we have here? What happened? Are you okay? I go get you a bandaid!" So she went and got the box of Elmo bandaids and covered each toe with a bandaid. I love sweet moments. Shea has also been a joy. Despite teething, she is still the happiest, friendliest girl around. Everywhere she goes, she rides on my hip grinning really big and waving at anybody and everybody. The only time I see her not grinning and waving is when Bethany gets in trouble. Then Shea shakes her finger at her, and says, "NO!" So then Bethany will say, "I sorry Shea." Bethany makes me laugh a lot too. Lately she wakes up about once a night, when I go in to check on her, she will be about 90% asleep, but she will mumble something like, "How do you spell cat?" or ask me to read "If you Give a Mouse a Cookie". But she is always back to sleep a second later. It's funny to see whats on her mind when she is sleeping.

3 more months

2008-04-13T19:03:00.000-07:00

Around 3 more months until Aaron comes home. I feel like we are in the home stretch now. Which is good! But at the same time it drives me crazy. When I know there is still a ways to go, I am able to just keep busy and try not to think about things too much. It's like I block myself from thinking about how much I really miss him. Not to say it's just a breeze. I always miss him very much. But when we get to the home stretch, like we are now, I feel like I miss him even more! It is the anticipation of him coming home. I am letting myself think about how great it will be to touch him and see him, and smell him. He always smells like Irish Spring soap. You don't know how many times I have sniffed the bars of Irish Spring soap in the grocery store. People probably think I am nuts. Who cares. It makes me happy. So suddenly I am feeling so restless. It feels like this past year was moving a little slower than usual, but now that we are toward the end, it is soooo slooow going. I am so excited for him to come home!! I don't even care if there is gear all over the place, and if he snores really loud, and makes me watch the History channel. I am just too happy to see him again soon. So for now, I really have to work harder to make myself not obsess over the time left.

Motivation

2008-04-10T19:38:00.001-07:00

So, I am back on Weight Watchers. Well kind of. I am not signing up for meetings, but I still have my point counter, and I am just following the program myself. Today was my first day, and I did good! I stuck to my points.

A couple of mornings ago, I got out of the shower and bethany was standing there in the bathroom. She looked at me oddly, and started playing with my belly. Yes, I still have that stretch mark covered, deflated tire look from 2 pregnancies. Anyway, she said to me, "Eww Mommy! Yucky gross!" LOL!!! She cracks me up. Nevertheless, I figured, "Okay! I can take a hint." If my 3 year old thinks my belly is yucky gross, then maybe thats the motivation I need to get serious. Now I know she probably wasn't even thinking about my fat, and was just being a 3 year old. But I am going to use it as motivation anyway.

ATA Airlines

2008-04-06T19:32:00.000-07:00

This is kind of a sad moment. A few days ago ATA airlines ceased operations and filed bankruptcy. This is the airline I used to fly for. It is sad for me to remember such a wonderful time in my life, and know that the company no longer exists. I met so many wonderful people. Co workers, passengers, and people in the different places I laid over in. I got to live in Indianapolis, Chicago, Dallas, and New York. I saw so much of the world including such places as Bahrain, Iceland, Cyprus, Turkey, Germany, England, Ireland, etc. etc. etc.

I met my husband on a flight! He was coming home from a 6 month tour in Kosovo. We got to talking and another flight attendant took a picture of us (and some random guy who wound up in the picture. Aaron is the guy on the left sitting down.). He asked me to e-mail him the picture, so I did. Then he e-mailed back, and I replied to him, and we began to instant message each other. Then we began talking on the phone, and he convinced me to fly to Atlanta for a date. I flew nearly for free, so it was no biggie. So we had a date, and the connection was instantaneous. We were married a year and half later.

I have so many great memories, such as getting to practice evacuations and deploy the slides at the simulator, the time during a manual safety demonstration that I somehow got my arm and head stuck in the life vest and had to duck into the galley to get it off, burning all of the in flight meals on my first time working in the galley, when I was first pregnant with Bethany I had morning sickness to bad and the in flight meals made it ever so worse. A soldier on one of our military charters saw my face was nearly green while serving meals and he insisted he finish serving the meals. He even wore my apron, lol. I could go on for a while with memories and stories.

But anyway, 2,500 employees just lost their jobs, with no notice. I hope they all find their way home safely and can find new jobs.

Our Trip to California

2008-03-13T10:46:00.001-07:00

We are back! I took Bethany and Shea to San Diego for a week to visit my family. As expected the plane ride with these two was miserable! Our flight to CA was delayed, but once we got there, things were fine. We had a lot of fun! My parents live on about 5 acres. The property is in the mountains in northern San Diego county. Their house is at the top of a hill. I will add a picture taken from their patio to show what it looks like. Anyway, the first day there my sister Heather and I took the kids around the property and had a nice hike. The girls love my parents dogs, so they were happy to be outside with the dogs who follow us everywhere. The next day I went to visit with my friend Cas. She has 4 kids. Her third child is only a week younger than Bethany. The kids played and I really enjoyed hanging out with Cas. We have been friends since high school, but we hardly get to see each other anymore. But she is still one of my best friends. Later that day, I saw my friend Rhianna and saw her daughter Sierra. Sierra and Bethany played together a while. The next day we went out shopping and had lunch with my Grandma at the Elephant bar and grill. We ran into Janine who is a friend with an autistic son. We agreed to get together on Monday. Then my sister Madeline flew in with her husband Tyler. I was unable to be at their wedding in November, so this was my first time meeting him. Very nice guy. That evening, Madeline and our other sister Kaytee and I went out to the mall and left the girls with my parents. It was wonderful to have a break. On Saturday we drove to Coronado and had family pictures taken on the beach. We had a lot of fun, and let Bethany and Shea play in the sand and water a bit. Sadly, Aaron was the only one missing. I so wish he could have been there. I think he would have loved playing with the kids at the beach. Then we went to Seaport Village for brunch and shopping. We took the kids on the carousel. They both really loved that. On Sunday we all went to church. Aside from Bethany laying down in the front of the church with her dress up around her waist, it was fairly uneventful. We did have kind of a funny moment though. A young girl was speaking, and after her a very tall man spoke. As he walked to the podium to speak, the electric podium was raised up high to his face level. Bethany was watching this and she yelled, "Wow! He's huge!!" Everyone was laughing. After church, my Grandma and my aunts Victoria and AnnaMarie came over to visit. It was great to see them. I have really missed spending time with them. On Monday I got together with Janine. Her son is a few years older than Bethany, so she has a bit more experience with all things pertaining to autism. She gave me a lot of great advice and useful information, and resources to help pay for all of those things not covered by insurance. That evening we had pizza with my Grandpa and aunt Anne, and Grandpa's girlfriend, Annette. I had heard that Grandpa was doing badly and in poor health, but I was not at all prepared to see the man, I remember as this big Italian man with plenty of energy and humor, as he is now. He has lost at least half of his body weight. It is obvious he cannot see anymore. He looked right past me whenever he tried to speak to me, and couldn't walk unassisted. It took 3 people to help him to and from the car. He fell asleep twice at dinner, and couldn't eat more than a few bites of food. It was very sad, especially since I live so far away, knowing I may not be back again before he passes away. My aunt Anne and I had a nice long talk after Grandpa and Annette left. Than my sister Connie and I went out for the evening. She is sad about Grandpa too. On Tuesday, early in the morning I brought Shea to bed with me to try and get her to sleep a bit longer. As the room got brighter, I was surprised that Bethany was still sleeping, so I got up and she wasn't in bed. So I went out to the living room, and kitchen and she wasn't there either. Then I noticed the front door was wide open. I ran out there, and didn't see her right away. Then I noticed something pink way down at the bottom of the property. Bethany was wearing a pink nightgown. So I ran back in and dropped Shea in my moms bed, and ran back outside to try and get to Bethany before she got to the creek. It is like dawn, and I was running barefoot down a hill that consists of dirt, rocks and tumbleweed. I finally got to her, and she was climbing down into the creek with the dogs. She was just in a nightgown and had no shoes on either. I about had a heart attack. It was scary/ But it all turned out fine, and my Dad immediately installed chains at the tops of the doors, so it wouldn't happen again, even though we were leaving the next day. Thank goodness they don't have any neighbors, to see me running down the mountain in my underwear and shirt. After that we ran a few errands, and had lunch at Souplantation, which I love. Why do I have to go to California just to find a decent salad bar! We also got together with my aunt Theresa, and the kids played at the playground by her house while her and I visited. Rhianna came over again. We had wanted to take the kids to Bates Nut Farm to see the animals and feed them, but they were pretty grouchy, so we stayed home. That night I went out with my aunt Anne for dinner. So I got out 3 times without the kids during this trip! It was great. On Tuesday, we packed up the car, and on the way to the airport, I stopped to see Grandpa again. He was sitting at the kitchen table. I was only there 10 minutes, but he was just doing so badly. He fell asleep sitting there, and had trouble breathing. I told him I love him, so at least I know he knows. The flight back, was worse than the flight out. The people in front of us were horribly rude. I just don't even want to talk about that. But now we are home. It is great to be home too.

Kids are messy!

2008-02-09T06:24:00.000-08:00

Any mom who just read the title of this blog post, just said "DUH!!" Two days ago Bethany got on a stool and carried the vase of flowers Aaron sent me to the computer desk. She was aggressively sniffing the flowers, when the vase toppled over spilling water onto the box that connects to the internet. I had to have someone come out and look at it, and he had to replace it. He told me the boxes are very expensive, but he was going to just say it was a malfunction and not our fault. Thank goodness for the kindness of strangers! We could not afford to pay for that! Yesterday I got some cleaning done. Found an entire box worth of Cheerios underneath the Entertainment center. As I poured the vaccum canister into the trash, I thought about how wasteful it was, but figured pouring it back in the cereal box would be pretty gross. At one point I decided to take a 2 minute shower. My kids were napping (or so I thought). 2 minutes later, I get out of the shower and find Bethany feeding herself and Shea grape jelly straight from the jar. It was on the floor and the TV too. The peanut butter stays on top of the refridgerator because she has gotten into that before too. Reminds me of my husband who would happily eat PB and jelly minus the bread with a spoon. I guess tha apple doesn't fall far. And now my sweet Bethany is sitting next to me, her face covered in oatmeal and banana, trying to give me kisses, ha ha. Messy messy! But that's ok. I wouldn't pass up these kisses for anything. If it gets too messy, I can just go take another shower.... :o

Other Autism moms

2008-01-29T20:02:00.000-08:00

I have gotten a few comments from other moms of children with ASD over the past few months. I am always happy to talk to other moms dealing with the same things, however I often am unable to see their blogs so I can send a message back. So if you do leave me a comment wanting to talk please let me know how I can message you back. It is always nice to exchange stories and ideas with other moms!

2008-01-22T19:34:00.000-08:00

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Family search

Someday I will laugh

2008-01-19T20:59:00.000-08:00

I hope someday Bethany has a child just like her. I will laugh and laugh every time she calls me to tell me what that child has done.
This morning I took the girls to the library for a Winnie the Pooh party and National Popcorn day. Basically it was stories about W the P, while eating popcorn, and then gluing popcorn onto pictures of W the P. Bethany ran about 40 laps around the room then managed to escape out the door twice, both times running into the conference going on in the next room. I had to walk in, and drag her out by her arm as she did the dead weight thing and screamed. We don't go anywhere without making our presence known. Then after the event was over, we walk out and it was windy and pouring rain. I was holding Shea, 3 jackets, my purse, a diaper bag, and Bethany's hand and balancing the umbrella, when the wind blew the umbrella inside out. I tried to corner Bethany against a pole to fix it, but she got away and ran off through a field in front of the library, so off I went chasing after her. She got to the middle of the field and decided to lay down in a big mud puddle. I got to her, and once again had to drag her by the arm because she wouldn't stand. We finally got to the car, and I buckled them in, and got the heater going in the car while they screamed because they were both soaking wet. Bethany and I were both muddy and soaked to the underwear. And I just sat in the car in the parking lot and cried for 20 minutes. Sometimes I am a baby and I cry when I get frustrated and stressed. Both kids got over it, and Shea fell asleep and Bethy was singing, and I was still crying! Finally I drove home, stopping at Sonic because I was not in the mood to find something to put together for lunch for everyone. We came home, I put the kids in the tub, and put them in warm Jammie's, and down to nap, and took a hot shower myself and put on sweats. Now that they are in bed, and I am relaxing, I can laugh. At least my life is never dull. Sometimes I wish for a different kind of excitement, but who knows, maybe one day I will write a bestseller about raising Bethany.

Things that make me happy

2008-01-17T11:29:00.000-08:00

~ Listening to Bethany sing "Jingle Bells" in January, when she would have no part of Christmas music in December. ha ha!
~Watching Shea's face light up with excitement when she gets pushed in the swing.
~Falling asleep at naptime with Shea, and getting to snuggle with her.
~Hearing the pride in Aaron's voice on the phone as he e-mails me a picture of a helicopter with his name on the side.
~Scrubbing the bathtub with no distractions and standing back to admire a sparkly clean bathroom.
~Watching my girls laughing together, even if they are doing something they shouldn't be.
~ Sisters that call me up just to chat, because we are friends.
~Closing my eyes, to remember what Aaron's hand feels like in mine.
~ Wonderful people at church who let their hearts be led by the spirit.
~Bethany starting Sunbeams and showing me that I had nothing to worry about.
~Bethany making sure I kiss Elmo and Ernie goodnight, then watching her tuck them into bed with her.
~ Knowing that the quickest way to cheer Bethany up is to push on her nose, and say "ribbit!" Then let her push my nose, and say "beep". (Aaron's nose says "honk" by the way.)
~Shea trying to imitate the word "stinky".
~Watching Shea boogie to the "Cha cha slide" song at her My-Gym class.
~The thought of Aaron coming home on leave in a few weeks!
~ Taking walks with the girls and watching them giggle at the squirrels, get excited to meet the dogs we encounter, and watching them examine the different leaves and flowers we find.
~ That little window that comes up on the bottom of the computer screen that says, "Aaron is online".
~ Singing Primary songs in the car on the top of our lungs.
~ Reading stories with Bethany and Shea, and Bethany trying to read us stories too.

Bethany's Birthday Party

2007-12-08T17:31:00.000-08:00

Today was Bethany's Birthday party! It was a lot of fun. Her friends Connor and Logan were there. Her friend Jacob was unable to attend at the last minute due to a collision with the coffee table that left him not in the partying mood. But his Mom and brother came anyway. Shea had Jacob's brother Xavier and Connors sister Allie to play with, and I had 3 other moms to chat with! Fun for everyone! Bethany loves that Winnie the Pooh Super Sleuths show on Disney channel, so that was her theme. She got some nice gifts. A look and find book from Jacob, "Toodles" ears (from the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse show) that play music and talk, and a set of wooden over sized beads and shoelaces to thread them on. It's really pretty neat. She was really into it. We only had a few meltdowns. It was a really nice afternoon.

Shea's Blessing

2007-11-04T12:06:00.000-08:00

Today Shea was blessed at church. She is 9 months old today as well. It was great to have my Dad who is visiting from California perform the blessing, and the spirit was strong. I really love the people in my ward too. One sister wrote down the blessing and gave it to me so we can look back on what was said. That is so special to me. Here are some pictures from today. Unfortunately my camera is not the greatest, nor are my picture taking skills, but I still got some sweet moments.

Not Always Miss Sunshine

2007-10-03T09:31:00.000-07:00

I have a child on the autism spectrum. I am always working to get her better services and help. I am always looking for the different treatments people swear by. I am always finding new activities to do with her that are aimed at improving her skills. I work on the skills her therapists assign us to work on at ho me. I look for support groups and play dates. I research the school system here and in all the other places we may end up. I try to be an activist and participate in fund raising walks, I have the autism awareness decal on my car to help spread the word that this is a problem that is growing and we need to educate people, keep searching for a cure and make it a priority. When 1 in 150 kids is diagnosed with autism, I believe its time to put this problem up top on the list with the other big issues.

However, I am not perfect. I don't always know the right thing to do. I lose my patience. I get frustrated and mad. And yes, I have pity parties. And when I am feeling so down, I do not want to hear how highly God thinks of me for giving me this special child. I don't want to hear how much worse others have it. I know that already. I see kids with awful disabilities at her school everyday, and thank God that Bethany can run, and laugh, and play. That doesn't mean that I am able too see things that way 100 % of the time though.

Just as I don't want to hear all of the optimists take on life when I'm down, I also hate hearing things like, "Oh but when kids do start to talk you just wish they would shut up" My child doesn't answer yes or no to questions. she doesn't tell me what she wants or needs or whats wrong when she is crying. she has never said, "I love you." She only recently has started speaking a little, mostly labeling things, and now singing songs, and believe me, the idea of wishing she would shut up has never entered my mind. We have worked hard for the speech she does have.

That said, you may wonder, "Well geez! What the heck is safe to say around this lady?" lol. Anything that doesn't involve invalidating my feelings when I am feeling down, and anything that doesn't try to show me how even typical children drive you nuts. I know all kids can be tiresome. I know even if she was typical, I would have my issues. But be sensitive people! I wouldn't go up to a paraplegic and say, oh you are lucky you get to sit all day. My legs get tired."

Just be our friend. Just don't judge, my child, me or my parenting when she is freaking out and having a meltdown. Don't try to insist that there is nothing wrong with her because she makes eye contact. We worked hard for that too! Don't judge me for making parental decisions that you would never do. Maybe there is a reason. And rest assured, I research everything to death. Don't act so shocked if Bethany seems to ignore you, but don't ignore her. She hears you. She knows you are there. She just doesn't know how to interact with you and socialize.

This is not directed at anyone specifically, and I know people mean well. Well, most of them. Don't take this harshly. This is just the way I feel.

Long distance love

2007-09-20T19:30:00.000-07:00

Lately life has been crazy. For me and for Aaron. He has a lot going on, and he has been stressed out, and busy, and taking on more leadership duties. I am very stressed dealing with post partum depression, a child just being diagnosed on the autism spectrum, 2 young kids to take care of alone here. You get the idea. It seems all of our conversations lately, are all business. "How are you?" "Fine. How are you?" "How are the kids?" yada yada yada. When Aaron was deployed to Iraq before, we always managed to keep things interesting. But not this time. No worries. There is not trouble in paradise, lol. It's just one of those times. We are very much in love, and happy with each other. I never thought you could have a relationship like this where things are dull and mundane, but the relationship is still strong. I guess that's what makes a good marriage is that we can move through the times like this and know everything will be fine. Nevertheless, I wish I could think of a way to spice up things so put that spark back into our days. With the 13 hour time difference, his best time to call is before he goes to bed, which for me is in the morning when I am rushing around to feed, and dress the kids. I can barely put words into sentences during the madness of morning time around here. I'm sure I will think of something.

Crazy day!

2007-09-20T19:12:00.000-07:00

My daughter is obsessed with dumping rice in the carpet. Everytime I buy more I hide it somewhere else. On a higher shelf, behind the cereal, etc. But Bethany always finds it and gets to it with her handy foot stool she pushes around the house. At least rice is somewhat cheap. Nevertheless a waste of food and more work for me to clean up. That is how my day began. Bethany dumping rice out. We had been up for maybe 7 minutes. But I did get Bwthany to school on time. Shea and I came home and got a little cleaning done, then went upstairs to my neighbors and tried on her daughters outfits on Shea for Shea's portrait session. Other peoples clothes are always better. Then we went for Shea's portrait session, followed by picking up Bethany and rushing off to a dental appointment for me, then rushing home for Bethany's speech therapy session. After that we hurried to get cleaned up to go to the Olive Garden for my upstairs neighbor and friends birthday dinner. The kids did very wellin the restaurant. Shea was waving at people, and of course that made everyone gush. She is pretty cute if I do say so myself. Bethany made it almost through the meal before she started cycling. She has cycles where whe gets hyper and starts stimming, and has this thing about needing pressure on her, like she will want to squeeze into a small place, or have me hug her very tightly, or lay under something heavy. I know it sounds weird, but her therapist tells me it is very typical of kids on the spectrum, and taught me what I can do for her. So, when she started cycling I just held her on my lap tightly. I don't think anyone else noticed it was anything different than a kid sitting on her moms lap. Not that it matters what others think. When we got home Bethany was at her peak, so she jumped on her mini trampoline for a while to burn off energy. Finally got her in bed and now Shea is asleep! What a day. Somebody asked me something though, that has bothered me all day. When I told them that Bethany is on the autism spectrum, they said, "Well, you should get fixed before your husband comes home. You dont want any more kids like that, right?" I felt that was rude and invasive and none of her darn business! People are so dumb sometimes. Ok, vent over.

What a mess

2007-09-17T20:49:00.000-07:00

I used to be the person who had it all together, and wondered what was wrong with everyone else. See, that's the problem with judging others. It usually comes back to bite you. And here I am. I am a mess. I have post partum depression, and it is not getting better. I take medicine. I see a counselor. I have no trouble admitting this because I feel there is no shame in getting help if you have a problem. Nevertheless, I feel liek I am drowning here. It's not htat I can't handle Aaron being in Korea. We have been through 2 deployments. But for some reason this separation is really taking its toll on all of us. I have got to pull myself together and deal with things. It will be wonderful when Aaron comes home. He is so helpful with everything, and he is my best friend. Just him being here, helps. But, I can't rely on him as a cure for depression. I was depressed during my pregnancy, and he was here! It is said that exercise is supposed to be very helpful in dealing with depression. I just joined a gym, and so hopefully the exercise, and fact that I am finally doing something for myself will help. and if I start to look good, that can only help me to feel better about myself!

Our next post

2007-08-31T07:20:00.000-07:00

I can't stop thinking about this, so maybe writing out what's on my mind will help me. Aaron is in Korea until next summer. We know we will be PCS'ing (moving) upon his return because this base does not have his new MOS. He will need to put in requests in a few months for where we would like to go if there is availability. We thought we knew what we wanted, but now... not so much. It seems these are our possibilities: Fort Hood in TX; Fort Riley in KS; Fort Campbell in TN; Hunter Army Airfield in Savannah, GA; Fort Bragg in NC; and Fort Drum in Northern NY. We know we do not want to request Fort Riley in KS. Since receiving Bethany's diagnosis of PDD-NOS, I have been looking into the school systems and programs at each location. It is very important to us to get the best for her that we can. We thought we wanted Hunter in Savannah, but have discovered it is one of the worst places for school and special ed. Campbell is considered just as bad. So that leaves Bragg in NC; Drum in N. NY; and Hood in TX. I am stilll looking into NC, but it seems that NY is the best for special ed by far. Seriously it is way ahead of anywhere else. But the part of NY that Fort Drum is at, is known for having very harsh winters. Can we handle that? Aaron is from Florida and I am from So. Cal. So we have no snow experience. Well, ok, I lived in Queens, NY for 3 years, but I was always away, never had to drive in the snow, shovel snow, or deal with kids in snow. Aaron says it would only be for 2 years, one of which he will probably be deployed anyway. If we hate it, I can go home to my family when he deploys. He gets out of the Army in 2010, so if we hate it, it's not like we are stuck there forever. Fort Hood is a very distant second best for school. But we know the weather better and I know a few people there and it would be closer to family. Aaron does not want to go to Hood though. He might change his mind. And I still need to do my homework on Bragg in NC. I really shouldn't let myself get so into this. The Army will send us wherever they need Aaron most. Bethany is in the Exceptional Family Member Program which might help a little. But I feel better just letting all of my thought out.

Cat Sitting

2007-08-31T07:13:00.000-07:00

We have been cat sitting my cousin in laws cat, Morris for a few days. He is in town for jump school, and his wife, Allison came to visit and brought Morris. She reserved a pet room, but the hotel gave it away, so he needed a place to stay. He is a sweetheart, and we have so enjoyed having him here. My girls are in love with him, and seeing them so happy makes me want to run out and buy them puppies and kittens! But I think another living creature in this house would push me over the edge. At least while Aaron is not here to help. Maybe when he comes home we can think about getting a pet. Am I crazy? We all know it's usually the mom who takes on the pet care too, and I really don't need any more to do. But whenever my girls are happy, so am I. I wish I could give them everything.

Me time

2007-08-26T18:56:00.000-07:00

What I wouldn't give for just a tiny bit of time to take care of myself. Despite being here for almost 4 years, I still feel like I don't have any solid friends. All of my military wife friends have moved. For the few minutes each week I get in Relief Society before nursery has me come in to help them deal with Bethany, I get to hear about all of the activities I know I can't go to. Enrichment nights, moms night out, temple night, etc. I wish Aaron was home so I could go and feel like one of the girls once in a while. Make some friends, do something fun. Right now, I barely use baby sitters, because not too many people know what to do when Bethany has a meltdown, and I am still exclusively breastfeeding Shea so I can't be away from her for too long. But I trust Aaron and know he can handle Bethany. I think part of it is that I am lonely. Aaron is my best friend, and I miss him. I feel like there are often entire weekends that I don't say anything more intelligent than, "Bethany! Are you stinky?" During the week, I get slightly more interaction with adults. I do try to get involved in playgroups, and such. But those are not often. What I really want is to feel like a human being again. I want to feel pretty, and have friends, and do something for fun. I love my girls to pieces, but I don't feel like I exist anymore at all. Okay, I am done whining.

My girls, playing

2007-08-25T10:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I had so much fun watching Bethany and Shea play together. Shea is finally getting to be more interactive. She adores Bethany and Bethany loves making her laugh. Yesterday I had Shea in the exersaucer, and Bethany was on the outside playing with her. She kept offering her her drink and pulling it back and they were both laughing hysterically! Then later, I had Shea on the floor playing and Bethany took all of the diapers out and tossed them all over the living room. She was dropping them on top of Shea who thought it was hilarious. It's such a joy to see my two girls playing and laughing together!

Shea's 6 month well baby appt.

2007-08-07T18:43:00.000-07:00

Today was Shea's 6 month well baby appointment. She is perfectly healthy! She was such a good girl the whole time too. What I didn't like about her appointment is that we found out upon our arrival that her regular Dr. had been snatched up to work with soldiers, and she was re assigned to Dr. M. Dr. M is the same Dr. who was on call in L&D the day I had her and he caught her. I can't stand him. He is very much a textbook and statistics kind of doctor, with no bedside manner. One of those Dr.'s who thinks they are God. Like since I am just her mom and not a Dr. I am too stupid to know anything. He looked at her vitals and told me she is too skinny, before he even looked at her. She is so not too skinny. The girl is a little chub! She has rolls! I think he was basing his opinion off the fact she is in the 25th percentile for weight, but that's on the scale that lumps formula fed and breastfed babies together. Formula fed babies do tend to be a little heavier than breastfed babies. Unless the child is unhealthy, who cares! And Shea is quite healthy. But anyway, I will be calling first thing tomorrow to have her doctor changed. I do not want to take my kids to this doctor.

Money

2007-08-06T05:13:00.000-07:00

I am totally baffled by our finances. The money just disappears. When we get paid, I write up a budget and it looks good, but it never works out the way I plan. Even looking at our transactions online, I still can't see how everything gets so messed up. I am irritated about this. But that's all I will say. We have a doctor appointment for me today. Today is the only day of the week Bethany does not have school, so I have to bring both kids with me. I need to have my thyroid checked. I have hypothyroidism, and every so often we check it to be sure the medicine is doing it's job. So, I will have to have blood drawn, and wait in the pharmacy with the kids. the pharmacy is the worst of it. You take a number and wait forever! Lately Bethany has been acting more defiant, so I am nervous to take her out with me very often. It is so hard to know what is normal 2 year old behaviour, and what is autism related. Anyway, I better get ready for my appointment...

The last swim lesson

2007-08-02T18:37:00.001-07:00

Today was Bethany's 8th and final swim lesson. I am not sorry to be done with it. But I know she had a lot of fun, so I am sorry to see it end for her. Bethany can light up a room when she is happy. She smiles so big, and squeals with delight. I love it! Everytime we got in the pool for a lesson she would squeal and giggle. But it breaks my heart too. I want her to grow up and have dreams and a career, and fall in love, and have babies of her own, and be happy. But I don't know what the future holds for her. I don't know what the future CAN hold for her. What kind of life is she going to have? I feel like I am not doing the right things, and there is this intense pressure to hurry up and treat her while she is so young. I hear over and over that the younger you start any treatment, the better chance of success. But what is the right treatment? What if I do the wrong one? We tried the DAN doctor approach, but I will admit, I think we got a crappy doctor, and we gave up fairly easily. Having her on a such a strict diet was so hard since she is so picky as it is. What do you feed a kid who can't have gluten, casein, sugar or yeast, but refuses to eat any meat or veggies no matter how hungry she is. She was living off of rice. People think I am a bad parent if my kid wont eat veggies. But it is not for lack of trying! I tried veggie juices, pureed veggies, steamed, blending them with other foods to disguise them. To the people who say if she gets hungry enough, she will eat them, I say, you try to do it if it's so easy. I about fell apart when she got so extremely excited over a banana display. I bought the darn bananas and she had 2 on the way home. She wasn't supposed to have fruit because of the sugar, so she had not had a banana in a while. She devoured those bananas, and watching her made me want to cry. Thinking about it now, still makes me want to cry. So we gave up the diet. But I still wonder if I couldn't have made it work somehow. Would it be worth it? Right now she is so young and so much still seems possible. I want to save her so bad. I can't bring myself to believe that I might not be able to make everything better. It makes me want to curl up in a ball on the floor and just bawl.

A Rare Moment

2007-08-01T05:18:00.000-07:00

Wow! Shea is sleeping in this morning! Amazing! Bethany is eating breakfast right now. I can type with two hands! It is so much faster. I even took a shower already. As usual when I turned off the water, I braced myself for the usual screaming I would hear, but everyone is content. Nobody was screaming. Well today is another school day for Bethany. I love school days. It is so nice to get thinggs done with one less kid. Plus it's great for her. She can go play and do crafts and dancing with other kids. Yesterday Shea and I had lunch with a new friend. She is a woman with two little girls almost the same age as my two. She feels the same as I do about being a mom. We both love our kids, but dont feel fulfilled by being a mom. It was so nice to talk with someone who doesn't go on and on about how they love every minute of being home with their kids. Not everyone feels that way, and I am slowly learning, that I don't need to feel guilty for the way I feel. Today I need to go to Sam's club for more diapers for Bethany. I have Shea in cloth diapers, and Bethany in paper diapers. I know it's weird. I keep hoping to get Bethany potty trained soon, so it seemed like a waste of money to stock up on cloth diapers for her. I realize I would be able to use them for Shea too. I don't know. It's just how we are doing things. Last night was Bethany's swim class. We have two more classes. Tonight and tomorrow. She hardly needs the instruction. She is a natural! She pushes away from me and goes dog paddling off toward the 10 foot deep end with the instructor and myself chasing after her. She is fearless. But I admire that very much about her. I hope I can teach her how to be cautious when necessary, without killing that special quality.

Would it be dumb if I start counting down the days until Aaron comes home for Korea? I don't actually know for sure when he will be home. I have just picked a date in my head that should be close to the real date. So, I am going to say, 348 days left. That is a lot of days. It's OK. The number will shrink. I miss Aaron. the good thing about kids is that they keep you really busy. I haven't had time to dwell on Aaron being away.

Well Shea is awake now, so my time is up.

Who I am

2007-07-30T18:13:00.000-07:00

I am Amanda. I am a 28 year old mom of 2 little girls. A 2 year old who is being tested soon for autism, and an almost 6 month old. I am also an Army wife. A very un hooah army wife. Don't get me wrong. I support our troops. I am just overwhelmed, stressed, and missing my husband, and dont have the energy to be Miss Perfect Army Wife. Sometimes I really hate being an Army wife. Same goes for being a mom. there, I admitted it. I am dealing with some post partum depression as well. I have my good days where everything is great, and Bethany will show such great improvement and give me so much hope. I will feel empowered, and feel like being left alone again to raise our kids is no big deal. I get motivated to do great things like clean the house spotless, and take school classes, and art projects with Bethany. Then I have my bad days. I will yell at Bethany, and feel like the worst mom in the world. Like the day Shea would not stop crying and I had no sleep and Bethany dumped a container of Parmesan cheese in the couch. Overall though, I love my husband and my girls dearly. My husband is truly wonderful and when he is home, he is a very hands on Dad and supportive partner. My kids are sweet and precious, and although very spirited and mischievous, I have to remember they are only 2 and 6 months. That's what kids do right? But anyway, just remember this when I am posting about how bad they are driving me nuts.